Oh Hello, There

I've been neglecting the blag since I have an utter dearth of boy drama and that's mostly what Y-chromosome-free like to blag. Which is great for me, boring for the Internet. Instead of blocking calls, berating suitors, and so forth I spend a lot of time making platypus faces at my fiance. Yeah, THAT F word. It's real over here, son.



But never fear, blagoweb, I stole an idea from my bestie Meg and will now unleash years worth of really bad internet dating missives that are very old, but so very outrageous I saved them for this moment.



Behold!

I'm skipping the myriad of "hey, hi, let's chat." Let's try a sampling of pithy, but weird:

Wink

Anyone ever tell you kinda resemble Bjork and Sandra Bullock? Anyhow, just thought I'd say hi. ;)

Combined? Is that even a compliment?

Wow

you spend alot of time thinking! I do too and I think we would get along well.

Um. Wow. So your friends spend a lot of time... passed out? slamming their hands in doors? afflicted with a neurological disorder?

Eye of Newt

So what does one find in a witches fridge besides wool of bat and tongue of dog.

Apparently not apostrophes to denote possession.

Interesting match

I have to run into work and do some stuff, but send me a message when you get this and I'll reply when I can.

What is going on here? This guy is either totally unhinged or groping at brilliance. Is he trying to gaslight me into think I know him, or somehow am forgetting the step when he INTRODUCED himself and started the conversation? Does he not differentiate between written, spoken, and text messaging forms of social interaction? Maybe he doesn't even differentiate units of time like present and future which prevents him from understanding that he can write ME a complete message when he gets done with work, later.

(no subject)

oh no you're one of THOSE types of girls lol

Oh, no. You're one of those types of boys who can only get people's attention by trying to goad them into being annoyed by your vague insults which you will promptly admit were merely a "conversation starter."

Stay tuned for some from the "Ewww, gross!" category and "holy crap, do you not know how to read?"

Living Room

So the living room actually has the bed in it and the office stuff is in the "actual" bedroom, if that makes sense.

reading nook: orange kilim from Istanbul, framed holographic poster
makeshift bench from coffee table and cushions

framed art

bed

one of the few times the bed is actually made

More Apartment

kitchen, entryway, Devotchka poster
Office

cutting table, chalkboard wall

formerly white bistro set painted gunmetal

more patio

The fake Chinese Wedding bed

This was by far the most epic undertaking. I wanted one of these:

But they are very, very expensive. Like $10,000 expensive.

So, I got at $199 dressing screen:
Then I unscrewed all the four panels and sawed two of them in half. Meanwhile, I bought the cheapest, plainest bedframe in the world for $70 and painted that with a cherry-colored wood varnish to match the screens. After that I had to nail, screw, and glue the panels into place. I also got some cheapie wood trim at Home Depot for the cross beams and varnished those as well.

Added some curtains from World Market for $36.

Total cost: $300 which is, oh, about $9,700 less than $10,000.

Barstools

After the success of the chair upholstery I tried an even easier project: bar stools. I bought the cheapest four bar stools at Ikea, which happen to just be a black, flat, uncushioned wood slab on top. I free handed some slightly larger foam pads and covers from a scrap of purple houndstooth fabric and hot glued those suckers on for all eternity. Very matchy with the paint and runner.

hawt.snip.ta-da!