Seeing Red

One From the Vaults

2011-03-02T00:48:00.002-05:00

Found this little piece of nonsense, written in college. Not even sure who it was about.

You casually asked me what I had seen in you.
It was well-timed for a loaded question.
You lay on your back and I lay on you with my head on your shoulder
and we were both languid, but awake.
I was thinking about how soft your skin was
and hoping that you would think about how my brown eyes are deep and dangerous like foreign coffee: hot enough to burn to tongue with a fierce kick at the finish.
You said it with the same cool curiosity as if you had asked me “heads or tails?” and deftly flicked a quarter off your thumb without looking.
I heard the sentence swell and subside like a warm wave of ocean
curled around the edges with foamy self-consciouness,
building itself up with genuine curiosity,
and finally hissing back down into the fine sand with the satisfaction of getting the whole question out just right.
I know it must've taken you four or five tries in your head.
I heard the very effort you were trying to conceal, I heard the shyness, and loudest of all I heard you grappling with the awkwardness, a dune between us.
So I squinted and did my best Bette Davis
and gave you a flippant answer.

More Internet Dating Missives

2011-01-07T02:15:00.002-05:00

As promised! No introduction necessary, just, "EW, GROSS."

Greetings
Your human sex appeal has my Vulcan hulkin'. Thought you would appreciate that.

Um, besides that being GROSS, I'm team Star Wars, dipshit. Jeez.

(no subject)
lets meet and skeet.

As you might've guessed the author of this dainty piece of poetry has a profile pic involving his Guido self posing in the bathroom with his camera phone in front of his face whilst pulling his shirt up with his free hand.

(no subject)
i read the other day in the Times that if we fucked each other 2012 would never happen... also everyone on jersey shore would be murdered.
so i mean i'm down with helping the greater good of humanity if you are

I'm going to assume that mean that he meant the 2012 Mesoamerican end of the world would be averted, not simply that time would stop. And... wow...ok...it's just not even worth analyzing, is it?

Oh Hello, There

2010-11-29T16:59:00.002-05:00

I've been neglecting the blag since I have an utter dearth of boy drama and that's mostly what Y-chromosome-free like to blag. Which is great for me, boring for the Internet. Instead of blocking calls, berating suitors, and so forth I spend a lot of time making platypus faces at my fiance. Yeah, THAT F word. It's real over here, son.

But never fear, blagoweb, I stole an idea from my bestie Meg and will now unleash years worth of really bad internet dating missives that are very old, but so very outrageous I saved them for this moment.

Behold!

I'm skipping the myriad of "hey, hi, let's chat." Let's try a sampling of pithy, but weird:

Wink

Anyone ever tell you kinda resemble Bjork and Sandra Bullock? Anyhow, just thought I'd say hi. ;)

Combined? Is that even a compliment?

Wow

you spend alot of time thinking! I do too and I think we would get along well.

Um. Wow. So your friends spend a lot of time... passed out? slamming their hands in doors? afflicted with a neurological disorder?

Eye of Newt

So what does one find in a witches fridge besides wool of bat and tongue of dog.

Apparently not apostrophes to denote possession.

Interesting match

I have to run into work and do some stuff, but send me a message when you get this and I'll reply when I can.

What is going on here? This guy is either totally unhinged or groping at brilliance. Is he trying to gaslight me into think I know him, or somehow am forgetting the step when he INTRODUCED himself and started the conversation? Does he not differentiate between written, spoken, and text messaging forms of social interaction? Maybe he doesn't even differentiate units of time like present and future which prevents him from understanding that he can write ME a complete message when he gets done with work, later.

(no subject)

oh no you're one of THOSE types of girls lol

Oh, no. You're one of those types of boys who can only get people's attention by trying to goad them into being annoyed by your vague insults which you will promptly admit were merely a "conversation starter."

Stay tuned for some from the "Ewww, gross!" category and "holy crap, do you not know how to read?"

Living Room

2010-01-21T12:50:00.006-05:00

So the living room actually has the bed in it and the office stuff is in the "actual" bedroom, if that makes sense.

reading nook: orange kilim from Istanbul, framed holographic poster
makeshift bench from coffee table and cushions

framed art

bed

one of the few times the bed is actually made

More Apartment

2010-01-21T12:41:00.005-05:00

kitchen, entryway, Devotchka poster
Office

cutting table, chalkboard wall

formerly white bistro set painted gunmetal

more patio

The fake Chinese Wedding bed

2010-01-12T14:48:00.007-05:00

This was by far the most epic undertaking. I wanted one of these:

But they are very, very expensive. Like $10,000 expensive.

So, I got at $199 dressing screen:
Then I unscrewed all the four panels and sawed two of them in half. Meanwhile, I bought the cheapest, plainest bedframe in the world for $70 and painted that with a cherry-colored wood varnish to match the screens. After that I had to nail, screw, and glue the panels into place. I also got some cheapie wood trim at Home Depot for the cross beams and varnished those as well.

Added some curtains from World Market for $36.

Total cost: $300 which is, oh, about $9,700 less than $10,000.

Barstools

2010-01-12T14:33:00.003-05:00

After the success of the chair upholstery I tried an even easier project: bar stools. I bought the cheapest four bar stools at Ikea, which happen to just be a black, flat, uncushioned wood slab on top. I free handed some slightly larger foam pads and covers from a scrap of purple houndstooth fabric and hot glued those suckers on for all eternity. Very matchy with the paint and runner.

hawt.snip.ta-da!

Blaggity Blag Blag

2009-11-09T17:50:00.005-05:00

Why, Helloooo! I almost forgot I had a blog for a minute, there.

In the spirit of rekindling let's revisit my to-do list posted Wednesday, August 6, 2008.

-Execute a perfect handstand, "scorpion" pose, and flip flop.
I've been working on this and can do a scorpion against a wall. So, not perfect, but working on it.
-Go to more gallery openings and museums.
I haven't been to many museums although I did have a painting of mine in a gallery and it was auctioned off in February, so that's pretty cool when you describe it like that. I also just got season tickets to the Dallas Opera so there's a healthy dose of culture.
-use up all my henna paste. (Any volunteers? I'm good, I swear.)
Forgot about that one. Just didn't seen that urgent I guess.
-go to more local rock shows.
I'm been to a fair share, although a large portion of them have been my boyfriend's.
-learn to swallow swords.
Gaaah!! Not yet! Soon, my yucca plants. Soooooooon.
-learn Latin.
I got side tracked by astronomy and math nonfiction from the library. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would be reading about abstract math theory for fun I would have probably choked laughing incredulously.
-work on my front splits and try for a horizontal over-split.
As with the handstands, I am in a perpetual state of working on it. When I can get myself into a contort-ier position than my current facebook profile pic, I will replace it.
-tryout for the Dallas roller derby.
Wow, if you didn't know that I succeeded in this you have not talked to me in over a year. Derby has taken over my life.
-plant an herb garden. And not kill it.
I did! I did! Memorable garden goodies: lavender and sage vodkas, basil bread, mint mojitos.
-re-memorize the beginning of Beowulf.
Enough to weird people out which was pretty much the point.
-practice spinning poi.
I bought fire fans and perfected that instead. Hula hooping too.
-find bands/events that will let me make snazzy psychedelic posters for them.
Not psychedelic, but I did some art and plan on doing some more art for the SO's band.
-have a garage sale and get rid of all my old clothes and books.
Made $112 at Half Price Books. Next stop, Buffalo Exchange.
-practice vertical pole inverts and tricks.
Oh yes. Lots and lots. Made lots of new friend and embarrassed my old ones in doing so.
-audition as a performer or character at Scarborough Faire.
Meh. Fuck that. I was a performer at Six Flags Frightfest which is... not at all the same.
-celebrate pagan holidays in a bigger way.
Check! Go me!
-find some tribal dance gigs at clubs/bars.
I've had about seven since I posed the list, not including the month long gig at Six Flags.
-find some fire eating gigs at clubs/bars.
Same as above. I've made about $1000 this year putting flaming thing on my face. What a wonderful world we live in.
-find some go-go gigs at clubs/bars.
I'll continue my tried and true strategy of letting people offer me gigs instead of looking for them. Works better for everyone involved and insures the fun doesn't get sucked out of it.
-maybe find a tribal dance teaching gig (adults or kids).
Still working on it. I'm thinking after the Xmas break I might offer an intro Tribal Fusion.
-learn to ride a motorcycle.
I have a brand new Mustang so I'm pretty satisfied with getting around in that.
-visit places featured in Weird Texas.
God damn. I haven't been anywhere lately.
-re-learn to play bass
I've resigned myself to the sad truth that I am not a musical person.

Upholstry 101

2009-08-26T15:30:00.014-04:00

I haven't had much time for anything else except moving and decorating and here is one of the reasons why. I bought a set of accent chairs on the cheap at Home Goods. The shape was fabulous, but the color and fabric... not so much. In my typical manner, I got it into my head that the apartment was going to have a Victorian circus-meets-industrial loft scheme which sounds cool but actually requires DIY-ing almost everything.

First off, I taped off the upholstery with saran wrap and painters' tape so I could spray paint away the nauseatingly ordinarily wood stain. I chose high-gloss cobalt paint kind of at random. I'm not even a big fan of blue, but it just felt right.

Success! Very shiny and much improved with minimal spray paint on things that were not meant to be painted. Of course, now I was forced to pick a fabric to cover up the awful sage and beige chenille that worked with the blue I had so hastily chosen. I wanted something jewel-toned in a luxe or exotic fabric that didn't quite match the cobalt so the overall effect would be more eccentric and carnival-esque.

I finally found a baby blanket remnant at Joann's that was a really furry, soft thermal poly. Not quite the velvet I had originally envisioned, but close enough and even weirder! The fat stripes sold me.

I didn't even attempt to remove the stock upholstery. Instead, I cut out rough shapes and pinned them on the chair, taking care to center the stripes. That is probably a really bad way to do it unless you're really good at eyeballing pattern pieces. And you should probably measure your yardage needs before you go shopping. After that, I nailed the fabric in place with upholstery tacks and trimmed off the excess.

As a final touch, I hot-glued (surely a furniture no-no) braided trim over the raw edges of the striped thermal. It added a good final pop of mismatched color and made the whole thing look more pro.

The final product!

missed me, missed me

2009-06-24T17:40:00.003-04:00

Oh, lord. What a two weeks.
I spent most of it hauling furniture, building furniture, arranging furniture, painting furniture, and otherwise decorating my parents' beach house. My parents are good at lots of things, but the aforementioned tasks are definitely not any of them.
When you're a teenager you lament that your parents are idiots, but at 27 I am little crestfallen that it might be true in some cases.

at Target
me: No! Absolutely not! You cannot have that! Put it down!
mom: why not?
me: Why not!! It's not what we're looking for! You already have one! It's too expensive! Put it down right now or we're leaving!!!!!!!

Remember about two decades ago when that conversation went the other way?

Anyway, it looks pretty great, everyone's invited, pictures to come, blah di blah.

Oh, also...I tweaked my MCL but according to a top North Dallas orthopedic surgeon it will heal on it's own. Neat.

Also, also... I've been doing some illustrating which is going fairly well and not making me want to David Carradine myself. Ooh...too soon with the asphyxiation jokes? Pictures of pictures to come hopefully.

Not too many deep thoughts on life and love today, but fret not, yucca plants, it's about to all boil over and I've saved you a front seat.
Cheerio!

solicited distractions

2009-05-28T00:53:00.005-04:00

I desperately need to fall in love. With some music.
gotcha.

I have been pretty diligent in keeping myself occupied, but it is my nature to be overflowing with an ardent, insatiable 13-year-old's passion to pour enthusiam into things and it would probably be best if that thing were something intangible to worship. To keep my mind and tongue sharp I need to keep my throbbing heart furiously busy elsewhere. A devotion-worthy band is an outlet that hasn't let me down yet. It's so pure and clean and inexhaustible in its unrequitedness-- something I can't burn out. I think an object of intoxicating beauty that pulls my heart towards its cage of ribs so mercilessly that my brain hums and my stomach turns would help a lot of my problems.

I'm not even kidding

2009-05-28T00:40:00.002-04:00

So, crazyinternetbitches.com is NOT taken.
I know, I totally could not believe it either! I use the phrase "crazy internet bitches" at least 10 times a day.

Ok, so, here's the deal, I think we can all agree this is the most awesome idea for an internet dating site ever. The beauty is the simplicity: who else populates dating sites BESIDES crazy internet bitches anyway? Exactly! It's cutting straight to the chase. And I know that all the dudes out there are really just looking for a crazy internet bitch. All the guys I know are ALWAYS dating crazy bitches. In fact, craziness and bitchiness are the two major qualities that will cause any dude to fall desperately in love with a girl. Try it, you'll see!
I can already think of DOZENS of people that should either be on this site or would want to date women on it.
Somebody, please get on this.

Druidess minx in a labcoat

2009-05-21T13:59:00.004-04:00

So this interweb dating thing has a feature that suggests other members that have things in common with the one you are currently viewing. Sort of like, "if you like nerdygamerboy, try nerdygamerboy who goes outside sometimes!" Similar, but different.

Out of (narcissistic) curiosity I checked out what chicks are in my orbit. They are, in order: girls that are less sex-driven, less spiritual, less scientific, more old-fashioned, more old-fashioned, less kinky, and less sex-driven.

What algorithm are they using here? Are there seriously no sex-crazed internet skanks that are more kinky? I talk a big game, but I didn't actually think I was that raunchy. And there are no girls that are more spiritual? How is that possible? I mean, I guess I am pretty spiritual when I come to think of it, but superlatively spiritual? Also, scientific? I don't actually doubt this one, but I'm surprised that it is even a variable. Who is like, "I like so-and-so alright, but she'd be way better if she did/didn't know her way around the periodic table! Damn!"

Some DTR...

2009-05-14T23:49:00.002-04:00

... for people who will probably not read this.

Hey, Crazies: You are out of your flipping mind. Please go fester in your special brand of craziness elsewhere. I'm not sure what about me made you think that I would be receptive to your various neuroses, but you, as you are about many things, are ever so wrong.

Dear Wayward Acquaintances: You seem to feel no urgency in returning my correspondences, nor I yours. Perhaps I overwhelm you a bit. Unfortunately, this assumption of mine makes me even less likely to try to contact you, in turn. I'm quite certain, however, that if we resumed our tentative friendship it would pick up where it left off and be rather pleasant. Stalemate.

Oh, Select Favorites: Despite our differences, I very much enjoy your company. For whatever reason you seem to accept or be amused by my spiky defects in return for my moments of affectionate camaraderie. I hope you persevere in this patient attitude because I am undergoing an uprecendented phase of soul-consuming predatory behavior via the internet on which you met me (see above). On that magical day when the dust settles, you may very well be the last man standing.

new title?!?

2009-05-11T05:03:00.002-04:00

weirdo: blah blah something about cutting blah
me: Cutting? GOD. That's so 90's. It's totally the poor girl's eating disorder.
me: Hey...poorgirlseatingdisorder.com!!!! Do you think it's taken!?!?

best. blog title. ever.
And no, it's not taken.

Statistically, It's not looking so hot

2009-05-09T16:56:00.004-04:00

20: Estimated number of cute, scruffy, brown-eyed boys in Dallas.
6: Number of cute, scruffy, brown-eyed boys in Dallas that I know personally.
3: Number of cute, scruffy, brown-eyed boys in Dallas that I know personally and are available and do not appear severely mentally unhinged.
0-1: Number of cute, scruffy, brown-eyed boys in Dallas that I know personally and are probably ACTUALLY not severely mentally unhinged as opposed to faking well-adjustedness.

bones and lionesses

2009-05-01T21:49:00.009-04:00

I've been spending a lot of my recumbent recuperation time thinking about my bones.
Wait, that sounds kinds of morbid. Start over.

Ok, so I've been sick-- just a cold, calm down-- off and on for pushing a month now and in this span of time I've lost, like, ten pounds. I'm pretty neutral on this occurrence.

Anyway, my body was already changing before that. A year older, new ink, and refined derby and yoga muscles sneaking and settling into prime position.

Only now I can see and feel this new structure.

I am sometimes surprised at my own strength, literal and figurative, but there is an unusual satisfaction in being able to see and feel the mechanism behind it-- particularly since most of my sureness of identity stems from artifice and creativity: hair, gesture, tone, costume, gait, language. Things I can control.

A note about my physiology, I carry weight pretty evenly all over my body. This works out great when I gain weight. Instead of accumulating in awkward places, it settles across my face, elbows, knees, back. My skeleton has aways been carefully concealed by a light cocoon, pleasantly even and supple, but generally the important stuff is folded away out of sight and tactility.

Now my architecture is displayed like a skyscraper, defiantly rigid against a pale, temperate sky. Stark. Modern. All upward thrust, progress. Will over physics.

These new muscles, these old bones that were hidden from me.

There is a novel, thumb-sized hollow next to my kneecap when I bend my leg at an obtuse angle. There is a strange, taut tangle of muscle the size of my palm on the top of each thigh which was formerly an undifferentiated expanse of hamstring and epidermis. I have a delicate pair of knobs perched ladylike and ovoid like bird's eggs on my wrists.

The broad, heavy spread of my hip bones is strange and precious like the archaeologist's prized skull: a mysterious artifact of an ancient and fearsome creature. The curves are audacious in their sure, solid thickness and yawn wide enough to cradle a fist.

Rather than exposed, I feel unveiled like the Sphinx unfettered from centuries of sand.

keeping occupied

2009-04-24T00:19:00.010-04:00

I am an outline.

just gesso.
******thick, opaque chalk.

the line, however, is exquisite. ****sinuous. decisive.

I will fill it in with wet, viscous daubs straight from the knife.
********************alizarin crimson cadmium scarlet vermilion
********** ****pure pigment like blood

So, I've been painting lately. And making hats. Perhaps some pictures to come.

What Would Scarlett Do?

2009-04-17T11:39:00.002-04:00

In the Twelve Oaks barbeque of my life, I have just shattered a vase.
Isn't this supposed to be where Rhett pops up?

Scarlett: "Why don't you say it, you coward? You're afraid to marry me. You'd rather live with that silly old fool who can't open her mouth except to say 'yes, no' and raise a couple of brats just like her! "

A Prophecy Older Than You

2009-04-15T18:13:00.008-04:00

-or a Witch's Curse

You had a valkyrie,
a shield maiden
a warrior, death's swan.
And she demurred to you,
rested her head on your lap,
and shed immortal's tears on your behalf.

She would have raised her spear
in defence of you,
but better, she summoned her ancient squall for you.
For love
of you.

Who may dream of such a creature?
touch her,
belong to her,
possess her, the battle goddess?

You will never again behold such a woman,
never revel in such a mind,
never bask in such intensity,
never delight in such ardor,

never be as fiercely loved by anything.

Tarot

2009-04-09T16:41:00.003-04:00

Knight of Swords: He is a young man with a clean heart and fierce courage but it does not good to confront him as he his too stubborn to listen. A young man with brown eyes and hair. Sign: Aquarius, Libra, or Gemini.

No. Shit.

Three of Swords

2009-04-05T17:02:00.001-04:00

"These precious things,
Let them bleed,
Let them wash away.

These precious things,
Let them break
Their hold
On me."

Bedside manner

2009-03-23T18:24:00.005-04:00

earlier today:
mom: Since you're sick, I will bring you home some soup from Central Market!
me: Thanks! *wheezes*

later today:
me: Mom, why does my soup have the label torn off?
mom: Well, it had chicken broth listed on the ingredients and I didn't want you to see it and get mad!
me: What!? You're a bag of dicks! Eh, fuck it. I'll eat it.

moments later:
me: *wheeze*What the fucking hell!!?! This has BACON in it! *kakak* You're a fucking jerk!! I'm sick and you're feeding me bacon!?!?!

later later:
mom: Ok, I'm at the pharmacy. Do you want NyQuil cold and flu or NyQuil cough? The flu one has antihistamines and the cough one has cough suppressant.
me: Whichever one doesn't have BACON IN IT!!!!!! *hack*
mom: *click*

Nonchalance

2009-03-16T16:06:00.003-04:00

me: Eh, you're pretty cute... I'd hit it.
him: What? That's not how it works, I'd be the one hitting it.
me: Ok, well, I might let you hit it.
him: No, uh, I'd let you get it hit by me.

Chai-stravaganza!

2009-02-25T17:50:00.006-05:00

Ok, the 6 teas a day ritual continues forward. Although I didn't have all these teas today, I did drink a lot of chai, my favorite flavor of all time, so I figured a run down of some chais I've had was in order.

Zhena's Gypsy Tea- Coconut Chai
Delish! It's very sweet and has a really spicy bite. You almost have to put some milk in this to cut the piquancy, but that's better than fine because the milk compliments the coconut flavor. A novel blend and very rich. Very recommended.

Zhena's Gypsy Tea- Chocolate Chai
LIke the coconut, this one is a big winner. I mean, what marketing son of God finally brought these two flavors together!?! This blend is smoother and not quite as spicy as the coconut. It has more cinnamon in it too. More unusually, it has a rooibos base instead of black tea which actually works great as the more robust, earthy flavor of the red tea goes seamlessly with the chocolate notes. I'm so glad something as cool as "gypsy" tea is as awesome as it sounds. There is no way not to love this tea.

Teavana - Mate Samurai Caai
This is a confusing tea which isn't too surprising since I have n idea what the "samurai" part is about. It's has the familiar strong, earthy, almost tinny taste of mate plus a whole lot of cardamom. It also has a strong, woody, resiny note almost like pine. This tea is more pungent that your usual mellow, winter spices and is better with just sweetener and no milk. Probably an acquired taste for some.

Teavana - White Chai
The delicate white tea flavor is so subtle that the spices really dominate this blend. The strongest flavors are clove and lemongrass. This is a tricky tea since white tea is notoriously heat sensitive and the tart note makes me unsure whether more milk or more sugar is necessary. Surprisingly, it is also good when mixed with the mate and strongly sweetened with no milk.

Tazo Chai
Much better than when you get the syrup at Starbucks. It's a pretty straightforward chai with a strong black tea flavor and an even balance between cinnamon, ginger, clove, nutmeg, and cardamom. It's good with no milk or sugar, but even better with honey and milk.

Stash-Chai Spice
Also a pretty straightforward chai. If I had to choose I'd go with the Tazo, but that might be because I like their packaging better.

Stash-Green Chai
Something about this brand's tea bags always has a musty taste, but I might be the only person that can taste it (Long story, I have a unnaturally strong sense of taste). Nevertheless, it's a pretty good tea. Ginger is primary spice which goes well with the grassy taste of green tea. It already pretty sweet and surprisingly creamy so I'd only add a splash of milk and a little sweetener. I'd like to compare it to the Republic of Tea's green chai which I haven't had yet. I feel like green tea is not the intuitive choice for chai, but maybe RoT can prove me wrong.

Stash- Holiday Chai
The "holiday" flavors are listed as gingerbread and rum. I don't really taste the gingerbread, other than the ginger flavor that already supposed to be there but the rum flavor is very strong in good way. It cuts the sweetness and gives it a smokier taste. It would be awesome loaded up with lots of milk and sugar. Suprisingly good, although winter teas usually are.

Stash- Double Chai
More of a good thing? Maybe. If you like spicy tea or feel like milk dilutes your tea too much this might be for you. The extra spiciness comes from more cardadom and a dash of coriander. It's also pretty interesting plain if you love cinnamon and cardamom. Be careful of brewing it too long, it will get bitter.

Stash- Vanilla Chai
It's kind of a misnomer. It tastes closer to hazelnut coffee than chai, but I like hazelnut coffee. It's got a nice toasty taste and not too sweet. Also awesome with lots of milk and sugar.

Teatime

2009-02-25T17:26:00.004-05:00

So in an effort to organize the tea cabinet (yeah, we have a whole cabinet full of tea) I'm trying consume all the stray begs, sampler sets, and almost empty boxes. This has led me to the totally pointless plan of consume as many kinds of tea as I can a day. So for the rest of the week I'm going to have a cup of green, black, and white tea every day. In addition, I'm going to have a mate, redbush, and herbal tea too.

I'm sure Starbucks is pissed I'm not directing this urge toward purchasing one of their new tea products.

I feel like since each kind of tea has it's own purported benefit, drinking one of each will have some kind of salubrious effect. Since the experiment began yesterday I have lost 2 pounds which is probably from drinking about three times as much water as I normally do. Or maybe the 1.5 hours of yoga I did. I also woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed at 8 am! Many of you many regularly wake up at 8, but I usually get rolling around 9:30 and that's only when I set an alarm. If left to my own devices I get up after 11am. So that is kind of a big deal. I also had the mental alacrity to write css style sheets and html out of my head with no editor all day. Perhaps the mild caffeine boost medicated my low-level ADD?

However, I'm mostly suspicious of claims like that and just like tea so here is today's tea recommendation:

Republic of Tea - Yerba Mate Latte.
Yummy! It's smokey and chocolaty. It would be a good substitute if you can't bear another cup of coffee today. I almost always drink tea with no milk or sugar, but I bet this would taste like a fancy latte as the name suggests with some milk and a little sweetener. Mate has a lot of caffeine so beware before bedtime. Finally, it has a volcano on the tin which is always fun. Mmm, lava.

Nesting

2009-02-16T21:55:00.006-05:00

It's uncanny how Wiccan holidays sneak up on you. February 2nd was Imbolc (or the 1st or 5th depending on your calendar). It's a Celtic cross-quarter holiday and one I often gloss over being that I am not of Gardenerian variety of witch. Nevertheless, it's a solid enough holiday, the vestige of it that you might recognize is Groundhog Day.

Imbolc, or Candlemas, is sort of a placeholder in my mind. The point between the longest night of winter and the vernal equinox in March when spring is really getting into full gear. As the groundhog tradition indicates, it's a time to start getting ready for spring and pace yourself through the vestiges of winter. It a holiday of spring cleaning, getting your house in order, beginning to put the winter items away, and starting the spring gardening.

So anyway, I totally flaked on Imbolc. I had some plans and totally forgot about them. In the meantime, I've developed and unhealthy obsession with finding an apartment-- a plan that cannot be set into motion until March or April. Regardless, I've been torturing myself by filling in floorplans like crosswords and gazing flirtatiously at large kettles imagining tea parties for a half-dozen and other such rituals for domesticating of a space. All month I've hungrily devoured interior decorating magazines, rabidly dogearing the pages with pleasing paint and exotic furniture. I even doubled the size of my herb garden in an afternoon. It wasn't until I was longingly stroking a seven foot framed mirror at Home Goods that I realized what was going on.

Brigid, the patron goddess of Imbolc, had her hands all over this frenzy.

I thought I had skipped Imbolc, but it clearly hadn't skipped me. Retracing my steps, February 2nd was, in fact, the very day I had inexplicably taken a sewing break to peek at apartments Craigslist.

That's kind of the end of the anecdote, I guess. It's probably more charming if you know your holidays or could see me pacing around World Market with utter covetousness in my witchy eyes.

Who you gonna call?

2009-02-03T17:33:00.027-05:00

So "Ghostbusters" was the midnight movie last weekend, and despite getting properly riled up about it two weeks in advance, I didn't really seriously contemplate making a costume until the day of. I KNOW, RIGHT? How could I be so remiss? Dressing up is what I do.

Actually it went down like this:

Me: (around 1pm)Um, if I make Ghostbusters costumes, will you wear one?
Meg: Wow, that's a real friend commitment. Will they be cute?
Me: Of course! Although I might not have enough time to make them....

Around 3 or 4pm I decided after a few minutes of web research I should get on this. Also, I wrote about the plan to dress up on my Facebook, and now HAD to deliver. I gave myself about 30 minutes to get to Joann's and back with a rough pattern, fabric, thread, and zippers. Meg opted for Venkman, I settled on Spengler.

5:15pm
I went about cutting out the pattern which was a piece of shit. It may have been the worse pattern I've ever seen. If you're wondering how a S-XL men OR women's costume can be finessed out of one pattern that answer is that it cannot.

This is not, by the way, the right way to cut out a pattern. Patterns should be cut flat on a hard, smooth surface but since I was free handing adjustments to the pattern as I cut this is how I did it. I also don't have a cutting table at my house. I also realized I didn't quite have enough fabric, but I just fudged some of the other pieces instead of making the jumpsuits into shorts. Because it's weird enough having to explain why you're dressed like a Ghostbuster without explaining why you're dressed like a SEXY Ghostbuster.

6:00pm-9:00pm
It took roughly 1 and 1/2 hours for each jumpsuit including the zippers, collars, and ironing. I made Jeff put together the ghost logo and name tag patches in AI, but I ended up have to tweak them and battle with the printer so it only saved me about 10 minutes.9:45pm
Patches are on. Judicious use of fabric glue for hems and facings applied. All done!

The final result:

Oh wait, I mean the real final result:
Meg's got the nice, non-camera phone pics so you'll just have to be patient, yucca plants.

Presents!

2008-12-26T23:20:00.007-05:00

This is the loot, in summary:

A hula hoop! Super fun. I'm better already after a few days, but the real shocker is that my mom is the hooping queen. She talked a big game about being the champion back in the day, but when I challenged her to a Xmas day hoop-off she started to back down. So, of course, I goaded her into to doing it. AND SHE ROCKED.

Dog Monopoly. I got it. You want it. To get you ASS KICKED, that is. Bring it.

Shifty hoodoo books. Something was telling me I needed to dip my toe into the dark side of the pool. Heartwarming family fun.

Crazy shoes. As usual, my parents we shocked, but not surprised. Mine is the leather one on the left.

45% Serious

2008-12-23T00:08:00.009-05:00

I went out dancing the week before last with my right hand gal, and ever-indulgent witness to my kooky antics, Meg. It left me with some food for thought, but here are the glib parts first.

I witnessed the most awesome/awful dance off between a group of white guys of varied degrees of inebriation versus one talented black guy.

Meg: He smells like laundry.
Me: Yeah, spicy laundry.

Some guy elected to type, then show me a text, rather than talk over the cacophony. The message read, "I've seen you turn down every guy in here, but I have to ask, will you marry me? I am 45% serious."

Which leads me to my deep thought for the week: I seriously enjoy being an ice princess. I guess I'm going back to my roots, but is it nostalgia? Maliciousness? Simplicity?

Let me explain the process. I go out, dance like a maniac (usually in some gothette ensemble), and flat out refuse to entertain any sort of conversation or interaction with any boys I don't know or are not friends of people that I know. This has always been the way I do things. Maybe it's because deep down I'm shy, maybe it's because I'd really rather be dancing, maybe it's because I know guys in bars are only trying to get in my pants and are not worth talking to, maybe it's that I worry that if I flirt back things will end up in a back seat.
Perhaps a discussion for another time.

The reason I keep doing it is pretty simple, however. I, like anyone, relish a compliment. It's nice to know I'm cute, or interesting, stand out, or dance well. Mae West said it best when she quipped, "It's better to be looked over than overlooked." So no posturing there, I admit it. The difference between thwarting advances with a ruthless stonewall and the more expected polite flirting is that I'm content with just knowing. I don't need the free drink. I don't need the canned compliments. I don't need the ll-advised hookup. No, I'm content to reel them in and throw them back. I get to be, in equal measure, a bitch and a honest, no-head games girl. Instant gratification, no mess. More importantly, no room for those awkward mixed signals.

The reason that this process is even worth mentioning is that I've made a few notable exceptions to the policy, particularly recently (although no strangers and not in bars, god forbid). On the one hand, I guess I've felt that refusing to talk to people is kind of eccentric and not very polite or grown-up or whatever you want to call it. I guess the other part is the curiosity factor. Oh, and the selfish factor. If I can happen upon an especially smitten suitor that seems easy enough to deal with, (read: throw back later at my discretion) why not enjoy the distraction? Casual dating the ultimate procrastination. Besides, everybody is doing it! What I've learned is that it is very, very entertaining. I like going on proper dates and being spoiled. I like having someone wondering what my next move is without ever fretting over theirs.

One the other hand, I am, deep down, a goody-goody. I don't mind being cruel, but I don't like being deceitful. And the other thing I've learned is that there is no way to be aloof without it being interpreted and being hard-to-get. So, while I'm loathe to lead anyone on, the leading may be all according to the one doing the following. Follow? Also, I am quite a snob when it comes to my reputation. Sure, I dress like a vampire hooker, dance like sex in heels, have some over-the-top hobbies, but all that luridness is cancelled out by the fact that I am thoroughly abstemious when it comes to sex and drugs...a little rock and roll never hurt anyone. This snotty reason for being that way doesn't particularly help tilt the moral scale in its favor, but, hey it's part of it too.

So, hmmm, where was I going with this? I guess the moral of the story is that I prefer --as I ought to-- the blunt, perhaps unwarranted, rejection to the drawn-out seduction and fizzle. And despite the reasons for me feeling that way include being conceited, an elitist, and rude, it is preferable to the alternative which I fear is bringing out my worst predatory instincts. (Let's not get into those.) Right? Right!

I feel like I've written myself quite a pep talk to get back on the righteous path of holding out for the OTL except, of course, I'm rather in the middle of quite the epic pursuit.
Circuity is my new strong suit these days.
Maybe I can be 45% serious.

Red Recommends: Sextrology

2008-12-18T14:17:00.008-05:00

Book review time!! As resident astrology expert I could could probably write my own book, so I feel pretty qualified to recommend Sextrology.

I bought it last night as an early Yule present to myself and so far I'm pretty impressed. I'd flipped through it before at Meg's house, and wasn't smitten, but after giving several signs a hard, critical read I can vouch for its accuracy.

To give you an idea of the structure and content, Sextrology is divided by sign and gender. Each section (Aries male, for example) gets an intro, Sign and Mind, Body and Soul, Sex and Sexuality, and a handy Couplings table that describes each possible paring between the signs, gay and straight.

What really prompted me to publicly sing the praises of the book is that it is one of the few books to tell me something new. Most astrology books tend to reiterate the same stereotypes to the point of caricatures. Save yourself the trouble and read Linda Goodman's Sun Signs, my astrology bible (she's an Aries!). Sextrology, surprisingly enough, features really deep psychological analysis and only gets to the eponymous carnal advice at the end of each section. Best of the best is the deliciously fascinating sidebars detailing the symbolism of the planetary glyph, sign glyph, mythical archetype, and Biblical symbolism.

As for the first two, I admit I am a bit of an arcane symbol addict. Alchemy, Kabbalic sigils, runes, ancient alphabets, you name it, I know the precise rhyme and reason for each stroke and swirl. So, these sections may play to my personal predilection exclusively. Nevertheless, it's worth praising, AND the descriptions are different of each sign's gender. Bonus points.

The mythical archetypes are, in a word, exquisite. The author has gone above and beyond the traditional planetary rulers and fleshed out rich deities for both genders. What I mean by this is, for example, Aries is ruled by Mars. Mars is the god of war and if you know me, you might see where a chit chat about warlike, competitive, impatient impulses is going. Mars is, however, ultimately a dude, and the utility of him to describe the female iteration of those qualities is finite. To solve the dilemma, authors Starsky and Cox introduce secondary and companion gods and goddesses to paint the full picture. In the case of Aries, it is Pallas Athena. Let me say this, I read a LOT of scholarship on classical mythology. We're talking secondary and primary sources. Hell, I've produced scholarship on classical mythology. Moreover, I actively worship said deities. To say that I am familiar with our dear Goddess of the Art of War is a sure thing. When I assert that this book came up with twists on Athena that were novel and creative (and accurate) to me is totally amazing. I am utterly impressed. (Even the distinction between God of War versus God of the Art of War is fascinating!)

You might be surprised that I was interested or impressed with the Biblical associations, but to be fair, I lucked out and Aries Woman got Lilith. Nevertheless, the reasoning behind the correlation was clear, historical, and revealing. Love it. (Taurus gals get Eve)

Another detail I love which is kind of incidental is the titles for each chapter, but I'm a word nerd, and that's just how it goes. Each gendered pair gets a pretty lovely set of his and hers nouns like the Natural and the Knockout for Leo or the Player and the Pearl for Cancer. (I'm the Original. lol)

The text is also acerbically straight-froward, which, to me, is a good thing. But I am an Aries and tend to construe things like, "She is selfish in the extreme... typically lacks compassion to some degree" as compliments anyway.

The most glaring inconsistencies I found tended to deal with the sex profiles themselves. A few signs tend to get the "one-note" treatment, but I think if you pay extra attention to the cited exceptions and treat them as common traits you'll get a better picture. (It's a good rule of thumb to know that agressive sorts often play against type in the bedroom, Aries included.) The keywords in the "turn ons" sidebars are a little random as well. I think mine left out a few significant ones (blood play? or is that just me?) and had a few outstanding ringers (lumberjacks? seriously?).

The arm-chair Oedipal psychoanalysis was a little iffy to me too, but I happen to have pretty awesome parents, so maybe I'm the anomaly on that front.

Overall, I give it 4 1/2 witchy stars. The half star off is for the occasionally patchy sex advice which is purportedly the purpose of the book. However, the book offers much, much more than said sordid divination, which is a pleasant and long-overdue surprise.

Dating Advice

2008-12-10T21:03:00.003-05:00

Mom: So I was reading your blog...who's the guy from Columbia?
Me: Oh, he was just some guy I met at a holiday party for five minutes. He's getting a Masters in Economics at SMU.
Mom: *gasps in delight*
Me: He's 23.
Mom: So? Economics, you say?
Me: You have a crush on him, then.

Re: Daily Tarot

2008-12-08T15:01:00.006-05:00

Trouble. Not my fault if it wasn't my idea, right?

He is, by the way, the dumbest boy in America. Or, more accurately, the most Aquarian Aquarius ever. It wasn't that bad, but it did spark a tiff with the giffer.

quick recap-
Aquarius: Man, I'm ready to leave but [whatsherface] won't stop dancing on the stage. Help me out.
Me: Wtf? I'm a dancer, I'm not going to tell anyone to STOP dancing.
Aquarius: No, you can help me! Start dancing with me and she'll be down here in 10 seconds. Watch!
Me: [thinks: this is either the screwiest relationship I have ever observed or the lamest attempt to dance with me ever conceived] Ok, sure.

The dancing was perfectly chaste, I assure you.

You mean people younger than me have feelings?

2008-12-07T14:43:00.005-05:00

M: That sucks that the guy from Columbia is only 23.
Me: I was hoping he was kidding, but he wasn't.
M: I could tell you kinda liked him.
Me: Yeah, now I just want to gnaw on his soul.
M: Uh....

Daily Tarot

2008-12-06T14:14:00.003-05:00

the Devil
The Devil represent wild behavior and reckless abandon. This is a card synonymous with temptation and addiction. At its worst this card embodies evil, but at its best represents ambition, impulsiveness, and pure devotion. You should be acutely aware of the destructive influences in your life and gather the strength to overcome them.

Oh, Facebook Tarot, you naive thing, you. You know perfectly well these kinds of admonitions have the exact opposite effect. This is the best I can promise you: I'm biding my time with the latest "project"; perhaps something more wholesome will come along before I get us into too much trouble. 'K?

Logo Design

2008-11-30T23:00:00.003-05:00

I cranked out four new Lone Star Assassins logos in time for my meeting this evening. I should be this productive more often, although the bout of creativity was preceded by several consecutive days of voracious eating and excessive sleeping so perhaps this is a lifestyle change I should reconsider...

What Would Scarlett Do?

2008-11-12T23:50:00.004-05:00

In the Twelve Oaks barbecue of my life, enter Charles Hamilton stage left.
Gawd, where are some Tarleton twins when you need them? (I'll worry about a Rhett later.)
Le sigh.

Halloween.

2008-11-03T16:19:00.003-05:00

If you recognize who I am you're a dork, but I love you.

If not, you missed one hell of a fake Russian accent.

Voodoo Fest!!

2008-10-27T17:31:00.011-04:00

Here's a really quick rundown of the memorable moments:

Friday morning I wandered around the French Quarter and talked shop and snakes with a druid/voodoo priest (odd combo, I know). I almost bought a monkey skull with jeweled eyes and a feather headdress for $40 until the owner showed up and told the ditzy sales girl it was really $200. Curses!

Bands of note on Friday:
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Surprisingly great live. I caught them waiting for Rev Horton Heat. The obvious comparison is to Jenny Lewis-- Grace is all bangs and legs. She, can however, really wail. They have enough blues cred when they really get going that a finale of "Paint it Black" was pretty twilight-dancing-and-twirling-voodoo good. And I would know. I bought a CD and much to my disappointment, but not too much to my surprise, it was rather studio slick and squeaky clean. Meh.
Reverend Horton Heat. The mike volume was a bit off which sucked. I spotted either Robert Rodriguez or a Robert Rodriguez look alike hanging out offstage. *crush!*
Devotchka. I love Devotchka, but this was not the venue for them. They were much better at Speigeltent with the old world circus vibe and their aerialist. They almost lost the crowd with some of their slower songs, but finished strong with "Enemy Guns" and "Such a Lovely Thing." I did some serious dancing.

Saturday, Zoe Jakes told me I had cute boots at brunch. I couldn't think of anything more clever to say than, "You're Zoe Jakes!" so I just said thanks and moved on.

Thievery Corporation. Fun! They drew a surprisingly large, spunky crowd. Let me tell you this: me dancing on my own is hot and cool. Judith hooping on her own is hot and cool. But together, we are the cutest fucking circus you ever wanted to run away with. We need to put some kind of performance together ASAP.
Mars Volta. I have no idea. I spent their set sneaking through the crowd to get in perfect position for NIN. I got impatient with their encores and afros.
NIN. It's true, Being crushed by a surge of thousands is the ONLY way to listen to "March of Pigs." Honestly, though, there wasn't much moshing and that was a bummer. I was totally prepared to crawl out of there with a black eye or busted lip. It was mostly a tide of shoving to the front with some thrashing around to "Closer" and songs from "Broken." I did my part to throw some 'bows and stomp on some toes. Trent looks pretty great. Not pre-2000-too-beautiful-to-be-comprehended, but good. Robin Finck was, in a word, adorable. As always. He even played ukulele on "Piggy" which was superb. I think I called over a dozen people "bitches" in response to announcements like "Ow, someones elbowing me!" or "Jeez, quit shoving!" My black heart was warmed each time an emo girl fainted and had to be pulled out by security. My screaming remains frighteningly loud.

And for your reading pleasure: Pick up lines!

"Hey, do you go to LSU?" FAIL. No, I don't.
After creepily lurking, "Hey, uh, my name is Dan. Uh, I just wanted you to know that." FAIL.
"What band is this?" FAIL. If I'm rocking out to a band, I'm going to think you're a douche for not knowing them. I'm also going to think you can't fucking READ.
"Um, excuse me, would you mind holding my drink for a minute?" FAIL.
Knowing all the words to every NIN song. WIN! What it gets you: 1) the opportunity to 'dance' behind me, if by dance you mean, I'm thrashing around and you're trying to keep a rhythm that avoids getting reverse head-butted by me. 2)You get to gingerly rest your hand on my hip for 45 min. 3) At the end of the show, after planning it out in you head for 20 min, you get to lean over to chastely kiss me on the cheek at the exact moment Robin Finck takes his bow and I start jumping and screaming "ROB-IN! Wooooooooo!" Later, sucker!!!! ........ Aw, little NIN boy with glasses, maybe if you weren't 21 at the oldest you could've been my NIN soulmate, but dis can nevr be.

Horoscope

2008-10-04T11:48:00.004-04:00

Aries
Your Horoscope for 10/4/08
You're feeling a bit restless and need to try something new. It's a good time to hit the road and explore your community or sign up for some activity that is a bit offbeat.

I love when you suggest activities I was planning on doing anyway, Facebook horoscope. We both win.
I'm zipping down to Austin tonight to see a show since, in my impulsive mind, three hours is not far to go and back on Saturday night. I think that covers "hitting the road."

Just Saying...

2008-09-26T10:39:00.003-04:00

Here's a brief respite from the hissy fit over Sarah Palin. Let's talk about democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden.

In his interview with Katie Couric this week Biden announced, "When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed," Biden told Couric. "He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'"

Um... what? No, really, WHAT?

A) Roosevelt was not the President in 1929 (it was Hoover).
B) There were no.. how you say...magic talking boxes with the pictures in 1929.

Where are the viral videos spoofing this? This is actually hilarious. I could write about 10 different sketches right now with Biden making all kind of anachronistic gaffs. Lincoln announcing we will send a man to the moon. Washington crossing the Delaware in a submarine...

Derby

2008-09-19T18:21:00.003-04:00

So, I'm still waiting for my final assesment and team placement before I get to declare my name, but in the meantime here are some ideas. Help, y'all?

Harlot Bronte
Molester Prynne
Iris Car Bomb
Scarlet Reaver
Red Velvet Ache
Dixie Witch

ZOMG!!!!!!111

2008-09-04T14:27:00.001-04:00

more animals

Old.

2008-09-03T15:49:00.004-04:00

Me: Daddy, have you ever been to St. Louis?
Dad: Yeah, one time. We just drove through, though.
Me. Oh. Well, did you see the arch?
Dad: It wasn't around yet.
Me: What! Who were you there with? Lewis and Clark?!?
Mom: And that Indian girl. Sacajawhatshername.

Best Summer Soundtrack EVER

2008-08-25T14:40:00.004-04:00

As a timely followup to my previous rant here is, in no particular order, the best summer songs from the sixties! Try not to burn your hands on the steering wheel on your way to the snowcone stand and crank it up.

Anything by the Beach Boys. Obviously. In my expert opinion, you should always start your summer playlist with "Get Around." Do it, trust me. "Good Vibrations" and "Do It Again" are my other picks.
"Summer in the City"- the Lovin' Spoonful. Well, jeez, it's their NAME, you have to love them. Listen to these lyrics, that is some machine-gun fire rhyming. These guys are SO underrated.
"In the Summertime"- Mungo Jerry. You know it, you love it. Although, I gotta say the line "if her daddy's rich take her out for a meal/if her daddy's poor just do what you feel" is a ripe, juicy target for a class and gender crit. Yes, I do, in fact, write imaginary papers in my head. Shut up.
"Summertime"-Janis Joplin (with Big Brother and the Holding Company). A slower song to take it down a notch. This is hands-down the best rendition of this song ever in the history of everything. Don't try to get all cute with me listing your "street-cred" blues singers who also sang it, you're not going to win this argument.
"Do Wah Diddy Diddy"-Manfred Mann. This song reminds me of swim team when the coach used to make us sing it in rounds like a military chant. Yes, I was on the swim team as a kid. If this is screwing up your notions of what sort of child I was, keep in mind, swimming is not actually a cooperative team sport.
"Paint It Black"- the Rolling Stones. It's Barbara Pool approved.
"Pleasant Valley Sunday"-the Monkees. Not necessarily a classic for the ages, but for some reason this is the song that runs in my head when I think back on sneaking into the neighbors' yards to run around in their sprinklers. And by "sneak" I mean as TOTALLY OBVIOUS as only a shrieking five-year-old in a swimsuit running around in your front yard in broad daylight can be.
"Come On Down To My Boat" - Every Mother's Son. Another kind of silly one. Reminds me of Bahama Mama slushpuppies and pool water up my nose.
"Time of the Season"- the Zombies. Ok, seriously, if some dude came up to me and asked me who my dad was and if he's rich or not that guy would be spitting teeth. Nonetheless, the Zombies are one underrated British Invasion band.

notable exceptions:

"Under The Boardwalk "- The Drifters. Yeah, I get it, it's about the beach. Beach =summer. It's also about people screwing under the boardwalk. GROSS.
"California Dreamin'"- the Mamas and the Papas. It's about WINTER.

Facebook Horoscope

2008-08-20T14:25:00.002-04:00

Horoscope for 8/20/2008
Your romantic side may be engaged -- or some idea or project may have captured your heart! One way or another, you're giving your all to a person, place or thing and it feels fantastic!

Um, actually no. None of the above.

As far as ideas and projects, the line is sort in limbo as I decide if I want to want to launch in Fall 09 instead. Still exciting, but also just generally chugging along at a reasonable pace.

As for the former, funny you should ask, oh, Facebook. As it happens, everyone else seems to think this also. There are at least four good stories I could tell to this effect, but it would be arduously meta in a "you're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you" kind of way.

This blog isn't about you, by the way.
Or you.

Anyway, I'm on an unusually even keel these days now that the frenzy of moving has subsided and I have yet to craft a routine. Reading Sandman all weekend surely isn't helping. It makes me dreamy and pensive which doesn't suit me. Although, on the plus side, I dress more gothically which does suit me.
I continue to adore San Francisco. Which is related because, while living in perpetual October would certainly be exquisite, it would probably have the same effect on me.

Tormenting Walt

2008-08-11T00:01:00.004-04:00

Dear readers, forgive me. I have been remiss. There has indeed been tormenting of Walt, but I haven't documented it.
But things have changed. I have be the victim of a ruthless bait and switch involving Tom Petty tickets. In retaliation, I give you the following e-correspondence. Admittedly, it is rather out of context, but don't let that stop you from pointing and laughing.

Walt Williams said that you two are engaged
From: Facebook (confirm+5b4ngx4r@facebookmail.com)
Add contact
Sent:Tue 7/15/08 1:41 AM
Reply-to:noreply (noreply@facebookmail.com)
To: Leesie Pool
____________________________________________________________________

Walt said on Facebook that you two are engaged. We need you to confirm that you are, in fact, engaged to Walt.

To confirm this relationship request, follow the link below:http://www.facebook.com/n/?home.php

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

___
Want to control which emails you receive from Facebook? Go to:http://www.facebook.com/editaccount.php?notifications&md=cmVsYXRpb25zaGlwX3JlcTtmcm9tPTkyMDMwNDE7dG89MzAwMjk2Mg==

Nostalgia

2008-08-10T23:56:00.005-04:00

Me: Mom, do you like my hair color? It's almost like my natural hair color!
Mom: I don't remember what your natural hair color looks like.

Extracurricular activities

2008-08-06T12:04:00.004-04:00

Now that I have acquired a change of scenery and a copious amount of time with my parents that needs to be reallocated, I have comprised a checklist of things I want to accomplish. If anyone can help/wants in on these activities, you know where to find me!

-Execute a perfect handstand, "scorpion" pose, and flip flop.
-Go to more gallery openings and museums.
-use up all my henna paste. (Any volunteers? I'm good, I swear.)
-go to more local rock shows. (Toadies, Aug 22, dudes).
-learn to swallow swords.
-learn Latin.
-work on my front splits and try for a horizontal over-split.
-tryout for the Dallas roller derby (flat track OR banked).
-plant an herb garden. And not kill it.
-re-memorize the beginning of Beowulf.
-practice spinning poi.
-find bands/events that will let me make snazzy psychedelic posters for them (pro bono even).
-have a garage sale and get rid of all my old clothes and books.
-practice vertical pole inverts and tricks.
-audition as a performer or character at Scarborough Faire.
-celebrate pagan holidays in a bigger way.
-find some tribal dance gigs at clubs/bars.
-find some fire eating gigs at clubs/bars.
-find some go-go gigs at clubs/bars.
-maybe find a tribal dance teaching gig (adults or kids).
-learn to ride a motorcycle.
-visit places featured in Weird Texas.
-re-learn to play bass

Jesus Hell, the Sixties were awesome

2008-06-15T16:49:00.008-04:00

the follwing contains excessive use of the word "awesome"

So, I am continually compiling a sixties playlist. It reminds me of driving around in the summer time with my mom, plus, fucking duh, the sixties were the most badass moment in music ever. This quest for the perfect, all-inclusive playlist usually starts with me downloading one specific song by an artist, then going back and looking for other titles by said artist. That always ends with me finding about six TOTAL JOY INDUCING awesome hits and exclaiming with glee, "JESUS HELL, THE SIXTIES WERE AWESOME."

Seriously, how did so many bands write so many ridiculously spectacular songs?! For bands whose songs are in every movie, commercial, etc, why are people not as obsessed with them I am?! Get with the program!!! Fuck Hendrix or the Beatles or whoever it is you're name dropping all the time.

First off, let's talk about Three Dog Night. TELL ME you don't squeal with delight when you hear "Jeremiah was a bullfrog..." being belted out of your radio. Or
"One (is the loneliest number)". That piano lick is classic! Or "Mama Told Me not to Come"? Words of wisdom if I ever heard them. Go download "Shambala" and "Never Been to Spain." If they don't ring a bell you'll know them when you hear them. Any one of these songs would've singlehandledly been a feat of rock genius, all of them together is enough awesome to last me forever.

The Turtles. "Happy Together" is probably the standout hit for my generation thanks to a way overplayed Golden Grahams commercial in the 80's, but my favorites are their slower, vaguely creepy hits like "Elenore" and "You Showed Me" which feature some pretty sweet experimental synths and rather strange harmonies. "Elenore" in particular has some of the kookiest lyrics ever like the exuberant chorus, "Gee, I think you're swell, you're my pride and joy, et cetera." Dude, anyone who can write the nerdtastic words gee, swell, and et cetera into a cool song is a musical force to be reckoned with. Not to mention the rhyming poetry of the lines "your looks intoxicate me/ even though your folks hate me" and "they'll turn the lights way down low/ maybe we won't watch the show!" LOVE IT.

Tommy James and the Shondells. These guys wrote "Crimson and Clover," which just so happens to be, in my expert opinion, one of the most awesomely arcane psychedelic songs ever. It would be totally possible for me to listen to that song on repeat forever and still love it. Not only that, they also wrote the audaciously catchy "Moni Moni" which even people raised by wolves have heard and the restrained groove "Crystal Blue Persuasion." I also adore "Sweet Cherry Wine" but my very favorite is the garage-y "Hanky Panky." But then, I love anything that sounds cute and filthy. I missed my calling as their go-go dancer.

The Four Tops. If you think you are too cool to drive around belting out your mom's Motown, you suck at life and should quit. The Four Tops pretty much wrote every awesome song that isn't by the Temps. "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)" is so catchy it makes my teeth hurt. So is the fabulous "Same Old Song" and the bitchin', motivational "I'll Be the There." I know you sing the back up parts and drum on your steering wheel, don't lie to me. Plus, they get major credit for taking on the daunting task of writing a song about a girl named Bernadette. It gets pretty philosophical too, "While I live only to hold you/ some other men they long to control you/ but how can they control you, Bernadette/ when they cannot control themselves, Bernadette/ from wanting you, needing you?" Wow, if someone wrote me a song like that, it might almost make up for my name being Bernadette.

scamtastic

2008-06-10T13:38:00.002-04:00

I just got the following text:

fr: UNKNOWN

Hey, I got your number from a friend of mine, but I bet you can't guess who I am! My username's cute_tease, if you wanna come see if you recognize me online at cute_tease.match-pit.org. Well, hope to see you soon!

12:35PM Tues, Jun10

Seriously, I don't know anyone who uses the word "wanna." Sadly, that IS was the first thing that came to mind. To be fair, however, I was impressed by the comma after "hey." I'm also pretty confident that no dudes I know, nor any I would like to know, would call themselves a "cute tease."
Spammers, you need to take it up a notch.

thoughts on Iron Man

2008-06-06T16:37:00.002-04:00

I can wholeheartedly say that Iron Man was all the awesomeness I hoped for and more.
My only criticism was that they didn't rock Black Sabbath the whole time. In fact, I think they really could've taken all the music up to eleven. Other than that, however, the smartassedness was delicious and that has got to be the finest damn goatee I have ever spied. The Marvel inside jokes were also pretty great (although the "blue and gold spandex" line in Xmen was probably the best) especially the S.H.I.E.L.D. gag which so perfectly set up the bonus clip with Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury. I was actually so excited I sat up in my front row seat and shrieked, "Nick Fury is black?!?!? AWE-SOME!!!!" I've never been this excited by anything relating to the Avengers.
Wow. I am such I nerd.

Less of a Bad Thing

2008-05-28T14:58:00.004-04:00

Months ago I compiled a top 10 list of things not to tell anyone you've just met.

Over the past week in Turkey I met lots of people I didn't know. Let's see how I did:

1. Anything involving Old English, Middle English or the recitation of texts in either language.
2. The sentence "I am in a circus."
3. The word "exsanguinate."
4. My first high school "boyfriend" impregnated a midget.
5. I have an oral fixation.
6. And no gag reflex.
7. I received a Colt semi automatic for my 18th birthday.
8. I worked at Rick's Cabaret for three months.
9. My rock show go-go dancing debut was at a Lords of Acid show at a slightly underage 17 years old. The encore was "Spank My Booty." Guess what happened.
10. I participated in the barrel racing event at the rodeo.

At first glance, this would seem to be quite a success. In reality, however, it turns out my original list was missing a few items including:

I eat fire.
I can pole dance. ( And have done so recently. In public.)
I am proficient in several styles of Middle Eastern dance.
Unsolicited tirades detailing the inferiority of states that were never independent republics.

Honestly though, I still can't quite figure out how I manage to start speaking Middle English and people continue standing there listening to it. Enablers! All of you!

More Fire

2008-05-10T22:59:00.004-04:00

"Hey, look! This is way cooler than what's going on inside the club!"

Burning on the sidewalk. Stopped traffic. No arrests.

Watch for the fire grab at :40 and the "dragon's breath" at 2:00.

More fire, pole, and dance on Facebook.

Mission Accomplished

2008-04-22T20:34:00.006-04:00

Me: Hey, mom. Did you see my video?
Mom: Yes. Jesus!
Me: Did you like it?
Mom: No!!! God, I mean, jeez, well... This is your Bub's fault for always letting you light the candles at Thanksgiving! Here's your dad.
Me: Hey, Daddy. Did you see my video?
Daddy: Yeah. My one question is: is it hotter than Tabasco?

Absinthe. Fire. the Usual.

2008-04-21T15:53:00.004-04:00

So the absinthe party was another success.

The offerings included:

Willy Bouvete (Swiss)
Kubler(Swiss)
Tunel Black Absinthe (Spanish)
Alandia Gold 68 (German)
Absinthe Neuzeller (German)
red velvet cupcakes with fresh berries
gaucamole and creamy jalapeno salsa
catfish pate

As mentioned before, Willy Bouvete is a le bleue and my personal favorite. I bought Kubler here (in the US) the day of the party and was pleasantly surprised. It is made in the Val-de-Travere like many other fine Swiss absinthes and was very smooth and had an excellent louche. I'm not sure how it is legal here unless the laws have changed since last year. The other "absinthes" available in the US are still a big thumbs down. Absente has no wormwood in case you were keeping score and Lucid which used some distilling loophole to reextract the wormwood out to legal levels is not technically legit AND it's not that great. A third I've been seeing around is Tournament which I haven't tried. Again, I'm not sure what trick they're using to import it. Anyway, moral of the story is that Kubler is pretty swell if you want to buy Absinthe stateside although I'll have to get back to you on the actual wormwood content and distillation process.

Guests followed the usual pattern of starting with my recommendation of milder, more authentic Swiss le bleues, moving on to the extra wormwoody and thusly VERY bitter Alandia, and put the nail in the coffin with the knock-you-on-your-ass Black Absinthe. I have to say, although it is unreasonably alcoholic and gimmicky with the black (I'm goth, ok?), the Black Absinthe is pretty good if you're not devoted to authenticity. Or if you ARE devoted to getting blitzed. The coloring is natural and the stuff actually louches a murky blue. Always a crowd pleaser. Unless you're Eric. Then you end the evening vomiting and yelling, "Witch! Poison-witch! You poisoned me!" I should add that I think he was already sick before he started drinking. No ears were excised (van Gogh joke).

Last but not least, I had the brilliant idea to light shit on fire INDOORS and put in in my mouth. This was also a crowd pleaser. No fire alarms were alarmed, no flammable objects caught fire, and my apartment did not burn down. Yay, me.

Here is video of me dicking around for the camera. I believe my exact words were, "We have to make a video so I can send it to my parents and scare them!"

Daily horoscope

2008-04-11T17:01:00.002-04:00

Horoscope for 4/11/2008
You need to recharge your emotional batteries at home -- maybe even going back to the place where you grew up. Once you've reconnected with whatever feels real, you should feel great.

Pfft. Done and done.
I just spent 3 hours sleeping fully clothed on my parents' bed this afternoon.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!

2008-04-02T16:15:00.002-04:00

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/music-news-story/ar/_a/dr-pepper-urges-axl-to-drop-democracy/20080326072009990001

Dr.Pepper has vowed to give every American (notably excluding Slash ans Buckethead) a FREE CAN of delicious Dr. Pepper if Axl releases the long awaited Guns n Roses album "Chinese Democracy."
No, I am totally not making this up.

Dr.Pepper really is the awesome.

Advice

2008-03-27T15:46:00.003-04:00

My mom is full of good advice today:

-"Non illegatamus descendre." Latin, don't let the bastards get you down.

-"Don't eat too much fire." Re: the fire-eating workshop I'm attending this weekend.
Tres exciting.

until you could taste heaven perfectly

2008-03-19T21:19:00.003-04:00

To avoid a embarrassing effusion on the subject, I was simply going to post Tori Amos' "Sorta Fairytale" in its entirety which I think roughly sums it up. It turns out I have already referred to the song twice in this blaaag, which is worth noting.

Now, unlike my mother, who claims Mick Jagger sends her signals throught the radio, I am not quite so superstitious about musical signs, but "Sorta Fairytale" has be something of a running soundtrack for the past three months. It just keeps popping up. If you're not enough of a know-it-all like me to google it now, I will give you the brief biography of the song.

Tori Amos' own description of the story goes like this: The protagonist Scarlet meets guy, immediately and deeply believes him to be her soulmate ("and I knew then, it would be a lifelong thing, but I didn't think we could break a silver lining"), they take off on the epic American West road trip, and somewhere along the line discover their insurmountable differences and end up going their own ways. The serendipitous meeting and the subsequent falling out make the tale an incomplete love story, or sorta fairytale.

Once I'm sure of something I am awfully hard to dissuade and once I've decided someone is great I'll go kicking and screaming all the way before I admit I was mistaken. I fight hard to keep my promises, and I made a big one. So it is with the deepest disillusionment with my own powers of persuasion and whatever cosmic forces who govern such things that I quit.

and i'm so sad
a sorta fairytale with you

Sweet, sweet Dewey

2008-02-23T17:38:00.006-05:00

Today was quite possibly the most awesome afternoon ever. Equipped with a stamper, ink pad, and adhesive labels I tagged ALL of my nonfiction. It was glorious. Putting my books in Dewey was everything I could've have hoped for and more.

Things I learned organizing my nf:

Stamping ANYTHING is mind-meltingly satisfying.
I have many more books about way more topics than I remembered.
I have only one book in the 500's and only one in the 900's. This needs to be rectified. Immediately.
I have more reference books about graphic design and fashion design than the Richardson Public Library.
Defying all laws of physics, I now have a good shelf's worth of extra space WITH THE SAME AMOUNT OF BOOKS. Praise be to the all-powerful Dewey Decimal System!!!

Project Runway

2008-02-22T13:09:00.003-05:00

Even since the inception of the show, particularly due to its affiliation with Parsons, I get asked what I think of the show, or worse, why I don't try out for it.

Well, I stumbled across a fabulously vitriolic summary of all the things wrong with the show written by a whipsmart patternmaker that hit every single point with finesse so I advise you to look there.
http://www.fashion-incubator.com/mt/archives/vivisection_project_runway.html

My personal short list, however, goes something like this:
1. Nobody on that show (or any other competitive design show) has gone onto a successful career because of the show. Admittedly, there are several contestants who have respectably small business, but these people ALREADY had those businesses. I have NEVER seen mainstream coverage of any of the former contestants after the show by any reputable fashion publication (and I read almost all of them). Every editor on the planet thinks these people are a joke.
2. The show makes life difficult for people who actually ATTEND Parsons. For example, I couldn't pick up my final project the first week of summer because they were filming. Ex-fucking-scuse me? I PAY MONEY to use that building. Secondly, fashion design is already the most popular major at Parsons with over 50% of freshmen choosing to enter the fashion program their sophomore year. As a result, the classes are overcrowded, there is a shortage of machines and mannequins, and there are few if any sewing rooms or computer rooms available for independent work. Due to the publicity from the show, Parsons now must employ an even more rigorous "weeding out" policy. My senior class ended up being a handful over 100 students, we stated out with 235. Over half the class failed or dropped out. In addition to the unfortunate kids who had unrealistic expectations of the nature of the program and their own abilities, this policy is also detrimental to qualified students who are forced to endure three years of scare tactics rather than real instruction.
3. The challenges on the show are totally unrealistic and the contestants were cast for their television appeal. If you are surprised to learn that the finalists are chosen because of their entertainment value, I don't know what to do with you.
There are many legitimate scholarships and contests in the US that do, in fact, acknowledge independent designers based largely on merit ( and only a little politics).
4. Any kind of show purporting to "make" someone in such a limited amount of time insults the commitment made by real people in the industry. There are very few Cinderella stories in any industry and fashion is included. Even the superstars that rose to fame seemingly quickly worked their asses of for years, even decades, before becoming household names. Furthermore, most of the people who are on top of successful businesses are people of whom you've never heard.

Oh Noes!!!

2008-02-16T17:28:00.003-05:00

http://www.boston.com/business/technology/articles/2008/02/08/polaroid_shutting_2_mass_facilities_laying_off_150/

Poloroid has stopped making instant cameras and film!!
I was JUST digging around for my poloroid yesterday thinking how I need some more film.
Woe is me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's new

2008-02-15T13:49:00.003-05:00

Hmm, so what have I been up to these days?
I auditioned cold for Desert Sin and got called back among six other girls which was unbelievable. Didn't get the gig, but given that when ask "So, what are we about to see?" my response was "Uh, whatever I make up right now," I'd say it was a rather impressive outing.
In other dance news, still rehearsing regularly with Suzanne for Diablerie. A performance is in order soon, I swear.
Performances are good because I will soon be in possession of some fierce fire-eating skills and swirly poi spinning abilities.
Other than that it's been bitterly cold. Perhaps it was not the best time to buy all those $1 cacti from Ikea.
I've also been contemplating ways to get more space in my studio. Although the top choice was to ditch my BED, I've elected to stick the couch in the kitchen and put more desk space in the 'living room.' A genius compromise.
Oh and lastly, but not leastly, the reason for the writing surface increase is the full time pursuit of launching my fashion line which is, in some ways a much, much bigger deal than it sounds and in others really rather routine and ordinary. This month is the branding, legal and business phase. Next month is the "nerve-wracking finding competent yet affordable production people" phase. That means full range of samples by May, sales appointments by Sept, and things one may buy in places of retail by this time next year. Notice how the actual "designing of said clothings" does not even constitute a phase.
Le Sigh.
I will be all along the Gulf the first week of March (Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Alabama) which should do me some good. Too much boy drama and hard work and tiny apartment are making me homesick.

from Sarge

2008-02-15T13:23:00.003-05:00

Sylvia

2008-02-03T17:14:00.000-05:00

"

out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

"

Daily Horoscope

2008-01-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

Horoscope for 1/30/2008
You aren't totally comfortable with the way things are going right now, thanks in large part to the weird emotional energy that is suffusing your surroundings. The good news is it won't last very long.

WTF?! Did you and Tarot have a meeting or is it just that obvious?
"Weird emotional energy"? I suppose that is one way to put it.
Hmm, is that last line hopeful or ominous?

Delicious, just delicious. You divination tools are just an effing bowl of cherries, you know that?

Daily Tarot

2008-01-30T15:08:00.000-05:00

Temperance

Like the Justice card, Temperance represents balance and harmony in your life. It signifies the need to find common ground in current situations and to bring opposing sides together. It is time to find a happy median between what you want in life and what you really need. By avoiding confrontation, you can give yourself the opportunity to thrive in a healthy environment free of negative influences.

Oh, don't tell me, sweetheart. I'll fucking tell you.

hehehe

2008-01-22T11:38:00.000-05:00

moar funny pictures

...for me to take your word, I had to steal it

2008-01-21T15:28:00.000-05:00

"
and i was talking to you
and i knew then it would be a life long thing
but i didn't know that we
we could break a silver lining

and I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this day back
a sorta fairytale with you

i don't know what takes hold
out there in the desert cold
these guys think they must
try and just get over on us
"

Dewey

2008-01-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

Um, how long do you suppose it would take to assign Dewey decimal numbers to all my nonfiction books, make stickers for the spines, then arrange the books accordingly?
I have 164, last count. I worry the fictions will feel left out, but they can just go alphabetical by author.

I feel that in the short term this might be (dare i say it?!?!) a waste of time, but I feel that ultimately it will be character building and gloriously efficient later.

related conversation:
Mom: "Oh no, I can't believe you're remodelling the library! My daughter will feel like a part of her childhood has been destroyed!"
Circulation Desk Lady: "Uh, ma'am, not many people spend quite as much at the library as your daughter."

More Ink

2008-01-17T13:13:00.001-05:00

Fake Frank Miller hotties.

(Post Dark Knight, more Sin City, obvi. Although less boobages.)

Turns out upping the threashold and inverting the color makes anything look cool.

I draw things.

2008-01-16T11:22:00.001-05:00

Things made of ink. And a leetle photoshop.

Convos of the Week

2008-01-10T13:35:00.000-05:00

This week, memorable things said to me just need a little bit more context, so I present conversations of the week:

Me (via text): flutter flutter flying foxy
Eric:(via text): ??huh?
Me(via text): haha. experiment failed. :-P
Eric:(via text): what?
Me(via text): I literally just said, "I'm going to send Eric a nonsensical txt and see what he does."
Eric(via text): Are you drunk?
Me(via text): No, I'm not drunk.
Eric(via text): Wanna call my house? I'll have phone sex with you.

Obviously, the funniest thing about this is the last line. I'm not sure he is kidding.

wrong number (via text): I heard u got robbed last night and the robber gave u 2 choices, give him ur cell fone r suck his dick well i c u still got ur phone! lol
Me(via text): Hey, retard, stop texting me.
wrong number (via text): Dang thats wuz up
Me(via text): No, seriously. Shut the fuck up. Wrong number.
wrong number (via text):Ok u better chill real talk
wrong number (via text):Who is this?
Me(via text): Not anyone you know. All my friends know how to spell.
wrong number (via text):Bye

Wow, I don't even know where to begin. Let's just agree to leave the spelling alone, but jesus fuck, what the hell does "dang thats wuz up" or "chill real talk" MEAN?? Perhaps there is an exceedingly dexterous simian on the loose that has purloined someones cell phone. And is only semi-fluent in American vernacular. Oh, and who also has "i lUv LKe HoNeY" as its automatic signature. Le sigh. I especially love the "bye" despite embarrassingly mistaken identity, cussing, and our respective irritation and humiliation.

Eric's Mom, upon seeing the Dresden Doll picture below: That is NOT the girl for you.

Great. Just great. Eric's mom thinks I am an internet skank. And my boyfriend apparently has no "appropriate for parents" filter in his brain.
Oh, Y chromosome, You fail us all once again.

Tormenting Walt

2008-01-05T10:03:00.001-05:00

From: leesie
To: walt
Subject: AHAHAHHAHA
Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2008 00:23:00 -0500

for you.

as you are the only pug person i know.

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/inotzmakefe128407488299346250.jpg
_________________________________________

From: walt
To: leesie
Subject:RE: AHAHAHHAHA
Sat 5 Jan 2008 1:13 AM

Damn you, woman for making go "ahhhhhhhhh" in front of my roommate. Completely killed that whole moody bastard illusion I work so hard to maintain.

Dresden Dolls NYE concert

2008-01-04T23:31:00.000-05:00

My waist. It is the tiny.

Gettin' smarts

2007-12-29T15:47:00.000-05:00

If you thought a hour long special about the history of cheese sounds boring you would be totally fucking wrong. I just learned all about how the balance of caseins, calcium, and acid makes mozzarella perfectly stretchy. Mmmm delicious chemistry. I mean, pizza. Wait, what the fuck was I talking about?

Thanks, Mom.

2007-12-25T00:44:00.001-05:00

Mom: "If you did that [flunk out of school], you'd be in the nunnery! Although, you'd probably make a good nun."
Me: "Uh, really? Why on earth would you say that?"
Mom: "Well ... you're mean."

Hockaday friends.

2007-12-22T19:25:00.000-05:00

over the phone:
Me: "We should meet up later."
Meg: "Ok, I'll give you a call when I'm done with dinner. Where are you going to be?"
Me: "Oh, I'm just going to be hanging out here in the house... writing you love letters."
Meg: "Are they going to be on nice stationery?"
Me: "Of course."
Meg: "Ok then."

one minute later:
Me: "MOM!! Where's the stationery?"
Mom: "Formal or informal?"
Me: "Uh, informal. The one with the golden retrievers on it."

two minutes later:
Dear Meg, I like you better than a large iguana, but don't tell Eric. I told him that last week, but I was just trying to get him to sleep with me. xo, Leesie.

There are about four things screwed up about all that. Try and count them all!

This about sums it up

2007-12-21T16:33:00.000-05:00

"I really like you."
"I like you too."
"How much?"
"More than a large inguana."

25

2007-12-11T13:33:00.000-05:00

I must be getting old. After 15 years I finally "get" Tori Amos' music.
Does that make me a grown-up now?
Ew.

Eeek! WTF!

2007-12-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess I'm at least glad that the day xkcd ALMOST TOO ACCURATELY describes my life it didn't have anything to do with the velocoraptor running joke.

(But seriously, if you try to put "it's complicated" I'm going to bite you. And not in a sexy way.)

Consider desire

2007-12-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

"Consider" derives from the Latin "to look at closely, to observe." Or, more literally, com- sidus, "with the stars."

"Desire" also traces its meaning back to the Latin word "to long for, to wish for," desiderare. Or, De- sidere: "from the stars."

*
*

lyric

2007-12-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

*
*
*

I want your teeth to slip past my chin, to make me bleed and mark the skin.

*

Short break for a moment of girliness...

2007-12-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

For me!
*squeal!*

nerd.

2007-12-09T19:34:00.000-05:00

Beauty propaganda

2007-12-09T15:23:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I'm dying my hair, and after a long hiatus from conventional, drug store dye (meaning natural colors that are trying NOT to fry your hair) I was totally amused at Natural Instincts' new product copy.

The first step of hair dying is mixing the pigment with the activator. In this case, however, the activator is labeled "gentle activating creme." That makes pretty decent sense. It is, in fact, activating, although the non-Anglo-Saxon spelling of "creme" is a bit silly. On the other hand, I am very enthusiastic about it's purported "gentleness" which is totally why I bought Herbal Essences in the first place. Because if you can't trust a brand that asserts it's wholesomeness while not actually being organic, well, who can you trust? For serious.

So I can see what the somewhat superfluous words gentle and creme are trying to get me to think: that this slimy, strong-smelling concoction is actually going to be good for my hair. Punk rock. Actually, wait. Scratch that. Punk rock would be that time I slathered my hair in magenta Special Effects, wrapped my head in a dry cleaning bag, and slept on it.

The pigment ingredient, on the other hand, is definitely pushing the boundaries of redundancy with the extraneous wordage. It is renamed "color-enhancing colorant." Now, correct me if I am wrong, but the colorant IS supposed to be COLORING my hair, right? Am I really supposed to be impressed that the colorant is doing some coloring? And what is this "enhancing" business about? I don't want my hair enhanced, I want its genetically-determined color to be permanently burned away by nature's finest chemicals as if I am some all-powerful hair color goddess exacting my sweet revenge on melanin. Or at least like the chicks in "the Craft." Come on.

Ok, so maybe if you've never dyed your hair before you might fall for this, but keep in mind that you always get a small 2oz tube of conditioner with your dye. This coloring kit it trying to convince me that I am getting "a once a week" month supply of conditioner with my box of dye. Well, guess what, Herbal Essences, I might be an art major, but I still can fucking read and this "once a week Color Treat" is still 2 fucking ounces. Nice try. And no, it's not a TREAT. It's conditioner. And for your information, I'm going to completely saturate every ammonia-licious strand of my hair with the WHOLE THING of "color conditioning treatment" like I always do. How about that!

And what is with throwing in the word color one last time? Which words are even modifying it? The conditioning treatment isn't coloring my hair, I just did that. It's not conditioning or toning the color itself either, because I happen to know it's just a treat-- I mean, just conditioner.

I think what this all means is that I'm going to have to put some Manic Panic Nightshade streaks in to cancel out the hippiness.

You can take the girl out of the goth scene, but you can't take the goth out of the girl...

"pierce right through me"

2007-12-08T21:27:00.000-05:00

Listening to Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence" with the wrong person in a dimly lit cafe feels like I have a cactus lodged between my heart and stomach.

Stupid Monkeys

2007-12-07T09:19:00.000-05:00

Wow, I've gotten hits from Belgium, New Zealand, and the UK by people googling for movie spoilers. Sorry, pumpkins. Just us narcissistic redheads, here.

In other news:

Dec 7, 2007

Aries- Someone may be overbearing in ways that make you uncomfortable, yet it's hard for you to confront the situation without creating additional turmoil. Nevertheless, things are not better left unsaid. Playing by the rules won't bring satisfaction. Be courageous and don't let others limit your choices. You can bend reality today if you are careful.

If that were any more relevant to my life I think I might vomit. Well played, AIM horoscope. This round goes to you.
It is so on. I am bitching everyone out today.

la Fee Verte

2007-12-06T09:54:00.001-05:00

Jared Gurfein, who founded Viridian, agreed. “There’s no question they’re watching us,” he said. “I’m just not sure what they’re watching for. I hope it’s not for somebody to cut their ear off.”

There are two things you should know about absinthe. One, it's not a controlled substance like, say, cocaine. Wormwood, the purported hallucinogen is banned by the FDA. You will not be jailed, fined, or harassed for possessing or consuming it, it will simply be taken away from you if you are bringing it into the country. Trust me, I've had it happen. Secondly, the "legal" absinthes the NYT article mentions squeak by the wormwood ban because the herb is not present in the final distillation, therefore there are only minute traces of it in the bottled product. This technicality also makes the absinthe technically not absinthe.

So, what is "authentic" absinthe? I am not the absinthe police. I have tasted probably over a hundred brands of absinthe (which is about 97+ more than most people writing about it in the NYT or elsewhere) and a good deal of them were either patently inauthentic or what could be more favorably termed "novelty."

If, however, you want an absinthe that is most like what Van Gogh was drinking prior to the aforementioned ear incident this is what to look for:

The absinthe must be from France or Switzerland. This not to say that there are not delicious absinthes from other countries, but French and Swiss brands tend to work from Belle Epoque recipes and maintain more handcrafted practices. France/Switzerland is just where absinthe is FROM. Duh.
The traditional alcohol content of absinthe is anywhere from 50 to 68 proof, leaning towards the upper end of that range. You will find absinthes that are much, much higher but you will mostly taste alcohol.
All traditional absinthes contain grand wormwood and anise. If you don't like the taste of licorice, you are shit out of luck.
A "real" absinthe will louche when you add water and sugar. The alcohol keeps the herbs suspended in the solution until you add water, then the drink will cloud. It's a popular metaphor in literature and art for the absinthe experience.
Absinthe is not dyed green. If it looks like mouthwash, it's probably going to taste more like mouthwash than absinthe.

The best kept secret about absinthe is not these "legal" American varieties, but the Swiss blanches and la bleues. As the names imply, these absinthes are clear and will louche milky white and blueish opal, respectively. Despite not being the requisite emerald, almost all distilleries making clear absinthe are using very old recipes with an artisanal attention to the craft. Blanche and bleue absinthes have a slightly crisper, more floral taste and happen to be my very favorite.

Some absinthes that are widely regarded as being the "best" and that I can also personally recommend are:

La Valote Willy Bovet. A Swiss la bleue from the Val-de-Travers, a distilling community in the alps that share the same alembics, but use their own recipes. All Valotes are excellent, but this is my favorite. Great looking label too.
Un Emile. A very traditional verte from Pontelier, the "birthplace" of absinthe. A very herbal blend with a slightly thick mouthfeel.
Francois Guy. A French verte and the perennial winner of the Golden Absinthe Spoon (yes, there is an annual Absinthe competition.) The herbs tends toward to woody and bitter. It is not my favorite-favorite, but very well-esteemed by connoisseurs.
Libertine. Frequently places in the Absinthiades. Tangy, sweet, and bitter all at once, is very fine even without sugar.
Verisinthe. Another good, layered flavor. Sweet and rich.

In addition, there are some pretty cool variations that, despite being a touch anachronistic, are pretty good:

Tunel Black. It's 80 proof and will knock you on your ass, but what could possibly be more gothic than BLACK ABSINTHE?! It has a slight indigo louche and you can taste the cassis and berries used to achieve the black color when you dilute it with water.
Mata Hari. The Austrians don't like anise, so if you don't either this is a nice alternative. Herbal with a slightly minty note. The gorgeous Mucha label is totally worth the purchase. Does not louche.
Neuzeller. This 400 year old German distillery produces a series of Absinthes steeped with flowers to give then a unique, dye-free color and taste. I have the rose and it's a bit bitter, but you can definitely taste the flower. Comes in a to-die-for apothecary bottle.
Salvia. Not an absinthe, but a liqueur made from sage. Interestingly, sages contains much more of the purported hallucinogen, thujone, than wormwood. Sage, however, is quite legal. Oh, FDA, you sillies! Very, very unique drink and highly recommended. It has a light, woody flavor.

A few other rules of thumb: do not drink Czech absinthe. I can't think of any brands that are authentic or don't taste like Scope. Speaking of Czechs, the "Czech ritual" is decidedly not period, but lighting shit on fire is always awesome. I would never, ever discourage someone from igniting something then ingesting it. So keep your lighters handy. Also, do not mix absinthe and cannabis vodka. Not only is cannabis vodka the most disgusting bile you will ever consume, I'm pretty sure the only thing steeping marijuana seeds in alcohol does is make the booze taste like it was brewed in Satan's spleen, ie, it will not get you stoned. Although, admittedly, that is not my area of expertise. Anyway, during a very scientific field study I determined that combining these two spirits will cause you to WEEP UNCONTROLLABLY for over an hour after you drunkenly trip and break the strap on your sandal. You know, FYI.

"I am Legend" Spoilers and Tormenting Walt.

2007-12-05T15:55:00.001-05:00

scarletfvr29 (2:56:42 PM): are they supposed to kill Will Smith in the end? if it has a happy ending i'm going to be pissed
TrikWally (2:56:59 PM): i'd be surprised if they kill him
TrikWally (2:57:05 PM): isn't it PG-13?
scarletfvr29 (2:57:20 PM): but that's how the book ends
scarletfvr29 (2:57:34 PM): i mean, that's that whole fucking point of the TITLE
TrikWally (2:57:49 PM): soooooo haven't read the book yet
TrikWally (2:57:51 PM): but thanks!
scarletfvr29 (2:58:08 PM): oopsie
scarletfvr29 (2:58:25 PM): in that case
scarletfvr29 (2:58:30 PM): his dog...
TrikWally (2:58:31 PM): oh shut up

Scribbles.

2007-12-05T12:42:00.001-05:00

F/W "Victorient" concept sketches.
Senior croquis book, 2006-2007.
prismacolor markers and pencils, guache, pen.

silk charmuese ruffled blouse, cotton twill cargo pantalets.
silk velvet tailored blazer. silk tulle and net skirt.

[woven and knit sketches with historical research.]

cotton sateen boned corset, ribbed cotton jersey wife beater, cotton voile bloomers with satin ties at thigh.
silk satin and black denim boned corset, washed silk charmuse ruffled bloomers. nylon tights and armwarmers.

Very well-dressed.

2007-12-05T10:31:00.000-05:00

I don't know what the question is, but the answer is yes.
Gold stars all around, Johnny Depp.

Let's vent. Wheee!

2007-12-03T11:49:00.000-05:00

Last night it was raining even though it was well below freezing which is just too perfect for the scene. Of fucking course I would’t even be able to appreciate the grace of some falling snow (SP reference!). Nope, just unequivocally dreary rain with exponentially miserable cold. Which is just so indicative of this little melodrama. I can’t even derive some perverse validation from it. Not even some sick, fleeting glimmer of “Ha ha, I win, I told you so.”

I am not dark and twisty. Ever. I am not fraught with regret, resentment, or disappointment. I have never wanted a do-over in my entire life. So a whole chit chat about missed opportunities, guilty conscience, and star-crossed love is not is my repertoire. But now, even though I was, am, and will be over it, here I am ranting about it anyway.

Obviously, the timing on this is completed fucked regardless, but really. Right now? This month? This week? This weekend? I’m busy. My internal monologue humming like like an aurora. I’ve got other stuff going on. The lightning bolt, the arrow, that voice, you know? THAT. I’m fucking busy. A big blinking sign flashing “the rest of your life, this way!” is right over there and it’s either going to Candyland or a grim, Brothers Grimm, ill-lit, darkly wooded area. Being moronically blissed makes a girl suspicious. I do, after all, have a history of leaping before i look. So, yeah. KIND OF OCCUPIED.

And now I know why that stupid Queen of Cups bothers be so much. Because I HAVE been like that and it’s fucking hard work. Being like that is a thankless job and so far all it does is make people more comfortable, more lazy, and take you for granted the more you do it. And then after, of course, without fail, they come back. But I am not a patient Griselda. I don’t want the last laugh.

Anyway, now it’s time for some of this:

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Queen of Hearts

2007-11-30T14:44:00.000-05:00

Devotees of the tarocchi,

The other day I appeared not once, but twice, as the Queen of Cups (in a conventional playing deck, and more tellingly, the Queen of Hearts) as the first card in a Celtic Cross spread with two different decks.

I, of course, am always the Queen of Rods. Redheaded, fire-signed, sunny, capricious, creative, ebullient, exuberant, sharp-tongued, loyal, opinionated, passionate, impatient, ambitious, confident, and suchlike. Sounds about right, no? The Queen of Cups: sentimental, nurturing, romantic, empathetic, intuitive, loving, affectionate, shy. My first reaction was, "That isn't me!" but, then, the damn question was about me.

What does it mean to be described as something else entirely to a querent? Certainly not that I am NOT the Rods type, I think. That I am the queen of cups right now? To that person? What is it to be something you do not identify yourself to be FOR/TO someone else anyway? To me that sounds disingenuous at best and terrifying at worst. But I suppose the more sentimental among us consider that to be romance. And who is active agent is that perception? Am I the one being different, or is the subject that is seeing me differently than I see myself?

I imagine in a spread for another person, the latter is most likely the case. Which is not to say that a person's first impression is wrong. Just, judging from my incredulity, not the primary or my preferred iteration of my personality. So what is that about? Am I completely mental to have some kind of ranking for qualities which I feel are more important or most salient? And how is it that I ended up preferring to be described as impetuous before comforting?

Hmm. Mysteries of the universe. :P

More fun with my parents

2007-11-28T16:36:00.001-05:00

So in my typically indiscreet fashion, I told my mom about cherry onion firefly after quoting her extensively. Of course, in my mom's typical mom fashion, her first comment was that my writing style has not athrophied and reamins engaging. Her second response was to tell me she didn't read everything because she wasn't sure if it was private or not which is completely hilarious not only because that probably is not true, but also because I am the least secretive person on the planet (ex: "I am retarded for you." "Haha. You're retarded?" "No! *I'm* not retarded...I...er..." FUCK.). Then my mom told me that my dad was kind of disappointed that I hadn't written anything about him yet which is so adorable it makes my teeth hurt.

My dad is very easy going and very Texan. He knows everything about geography, history, and politics. I get my uncanny sense of direction from him. All my guy friends drive up to Dallas to tailgate with Daddy even if I'm not anywhere near Dallas because he's that awesome.

The problem is that Daddy stories usually work better being told than transcribed because my dad tends to make up words or twang them randomly. In case you're a yankee, a twang is a Texas accent, it isn't called a "drawl." Every once in a while my dad will use really obscure words for perfectly normal things too, like calling something "persimmon" instead of orange-colored. I'm not even sure my dad's ever even eaten a persimmon, but there you go.

So I will make a concerted effort to incude more Daddy stories as they transpire.

Rotten.

2007-11-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

My mom told me over Thanksgiving that she was worried because I had no Yule presents.
I bought six pairs of shoes online and shipped them to the house.
I am spoiled.

Rapunzel

2007-11-26T13:55:00.000-05:00

My beautiful bunny Rapunzel

My Mom rocks....kinda

2007-11-24T21:06:00.001-05:00

Mom: Oh, I love this song! [sings and bobs back and forth] I want to rock and roll all night. And party every day!
Me: Really, Mom? Do you?
Mom: Mmm-hmm.
Me: Party every day?
Mom: Well, I could read a book all day.
Me: .... I'm not sure that's the same thing.

Oh, hells no...

2007-11-22T17:37:00.000-05:00

Dude, I just left decent weather in New York, and it's SNOWING in Dallas. DALLAS. Dallas, TEXAS! Frozen dihydrogen monoxide is falling from the sky. Solid water is precipitating from the atmosphere. Al Gore, you can take your global warming and go fuck yourself with a chainsaw...SIDEWAYS.