One From the Vaults

Found this little piece of nonsense, written in college. Not even sure who it was about.


You casually asked me what I had seen in you.
It was well-timed for a loaded question.
You lay on your back and I lay on you with my head on your shoulder
and we were both languid, but awake.
I was thinking about how soft your skin was
and hoping that you would think about how my brown eyes are deep and dangerous like foreign coffee: hot enough to burn to tongue with a fierce kick at the finish.
You said it with the same cool curiosity as if you had asked me “heads or tails?” and deftly flicked a quarter off your thumb without looking.
I heard the sentence swell and subside like a warm wave of ocean
curled around the edges with foamy self-consciouness,
building itself up with genuine curiosity,
and finally hissing back down into the fine sand with the satisfaction of getting the whole question out just right.
I know it must've taken you four or five tries in your head.
I heard the very effort you were trying to conceal, I heard the shyness, and loudest of all I heard you grappling with the awkwardness, a dune between us.
So I squinted and did my best Bette Davis
and gave you a flippant answer.

More Internet Dating Missives

As promised! No introduction necessary, just, "EW, GROSS."



Greetings
Your human sex appeal has my Vulcan hulkin'. Thought you would appreciate that.

Um, besides that being GROSS, I'm team Star Wars, dipshit. Jeez.



(no subject)
lets meet and skeet.

As you might've guessed the author of this dainty piece of poetry has a profile pic involving his Guido self posing in the bathroom with his camera phone in front of his face whilst pulling his shirt up with his free hand.



(no subject)
i read the other day in the Times that if we fucked each other 2012 would never happen... also everyone on jersey shore would be murdered.
so i mean i'm down with helping the greater good of humanity if you are

I'm going to assume that mean that he meant the 2012 Mesoamerican end of the world would be averted, not simply that time would stop. And... wow...ok...it's just not even worth analyzing, is it?