Convos of the Week

This week, memorable things said to me just need a little bit more context, so I present conversations of the week:

Me (via text): flutter flutter flying foxy
Eric:(via text): ??huh?
Me(via text): haha. experiment failed. :-P
Eric:(via text): what?
Me(via text): I literally just said, "I'm going to send Eric a nonsensical txt and see what he does."
Eric(via text): Are you drunk?
Me(via text): No, I'm not drunk.
Eric(via text): Wanna call my house? I'll have phone sex with you.

Obviously, the funniest thing about this is the last line. I'm not sure he is kidding.


wrong number (via text): I heard u got robbed last night and the robber gave u 2 choices, give him ur cell fone r suck his dick well i c u still got ur phone! lol
Me(via text): Hey, retard, stop texting me.
wrong number (via text): Dang thats wuz up
Me(via text): No, seriously. Shut the fuck up. Wrong number.
wrong number (via text):Ok u better chill real talk
wrong number (via text):Who is this?
Me(via text): Not anyone you know. All my friends know how to spell.
wrong number (via text):Bye

Wow, I don't even know where to begin. Let's just agree to leave the spelling alone, but jesus fuck, what the hell does "dang thats wuz up" or "chill real talk" MEAN?? Perhaps there is an exceedingly dexterous simian on the loose that has purloined someones cell phone. And is only semi-fluent in American vernacular. Oh, and who also has "i lUv LKe HoNeY" as its automatic signature. Le sigh. I especially love the "bye" despite embarrassingly mistaken identity, cussing, and our respective irritation and humiliation.


Eric's Mom, upon seeing the Dresden Doll picture below: That is NOT the girl for you.

Great. Just great. Eric's mom thinks I am an internet skank. And my boyfriend apparently has no "appropriate for parents" filter in his brain.
Oh, Y chromosome, You fail us all once again.