Voodoo Fest!!

Here's a really quick rundown of the memorable moments:

Friday morning I wandered around the French Quarter and talked shop and snakes with a druid/voodoo priest (odd combo, I know). I almost bought a monkey skull with jeweled eyes and a feather headdress for $40 until the owner showed up and told the ditzy sales girl it was really $200. Curses!

Bands of note on Friday:
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Surprisingly great live. I caught them waiting for Rev Horton Heat. The obvious comparison is to Jenny Lewis-- Grace is all bangs and legs. She, can however, really wail. They have enough blues cred when they really get going that a finale of "Paint it Black" was pretty twilight-dancing-and-twirling-voodoo good. And I would know. I bought a CD and much to my disappointment, but not too much to my surprise, it was rather studio slick and squeaky clean. Meh.
Reverend Horton Heat. The mike volume was a bit off which sucked. I spotted either Robert Rodriguez or a Robert Rodriguez look alike hanging out offstage. *crush!*
Devotchka. I love Devotchka, but this was not the venue for them. They were much better at Speigeltent with the old world circus vibe and their aerialist. They almost lost the crowd with some of their slower songs, but finished strong with "Enemy Guns" and "Such a Lovely Thing." I did some serious dancing.

Saturday, Zoe Jakes told me I had cute boots at brunch. I couldn't think of anything more clever to say than, "You're Zoe Jakes!" so I just said thanks and moved on.

Thievery Corporation. Fun! They drew a surprisingly large, spunky crowd. Let me tell you this: me dancing on my own is hot and cool. Judith hooping on her own is hot and cool. But together, we are the cutest fucking circus you ever wanted to run away with. We need to put some kind of performance together ASAP.
Mars Volta. I have no idea. I spent their set sneaking through the crowd to get in perfect position for NIN. I got impatient with their encores and afros.
NIN. It's true, Being crushed by a surge of thousands is the ONLY way to listen to "March of Pigs." Honestly, though, there wasn't much moshing and that was a bummer. I was totally prepared to crawl out of there with a black eye or busted lip. It was mostly a tide of shoving to the front with some thrashing around to "Closer" and songs from "Broken." I did my part to throw some 'bows and stomp on some toes. Trent looks pretty great. Not pre-2000-too-beautiful-to-be-comprehended, but good. Robin Finck was, in a word, adorable. As always. He even played ukulele on "Piggy" which was superb. I think I called over a dozen people "bitches" in response to announcements like "Ow, someones elbowing me!" or "Jeez, quit shoving!" My black heart was warmed each time an emo girl fainted and had to be pulled out by security. My screaming remains frighteningly loud.

And for your reading pleasure: Pick up lines!

• "Hey, do you go to LSU?" FAIL. No, I don't.
• After creepily lurking, "Hey, uh, my name is Dan. Uh, I just wanted you to know that." FAIL.
• "What band is this?" FAIL. If I'm rocking out to a band, I'm going to think you're a douche for not knowing them. I'm also going to think you can't fucking READ.
• "Um, excuse me, would you mind holding my drink for a minute?" FAIL.
• Knowing all the words to every NIN song. WIN! What it gets you: 1) the opportunity to 'dance' behind me, if by dance you mean, I'm thrashing around and you're trying to keep a rhythm that avoids getting reverse head-butted by me. 2)You get to gingerly rest your hand on my hip for 45 min. 3) At the end of the show, after planning it out in you head for 20 min, you get to lean over to chastely kiss me on the cheek at the exact moment Robin Finck takes his bow and I start jumping and screaming "ROB-IN! Wooooooooo!" Later, sucker!!!! ........ Aw, little NIN boy with glasses, maybe if you weren't 21 at the oldest you could've been my NIN soulmate, but dis can nevr be.

Best Summer Soundtrack EVER

As a timely followup to my previous rant here is, in no particular order, the best summer songs from the sixties! Try not to burn your hands on the steering wheel on your way to the snowcone stand and crank it up.

• Anything by the Beach Boys. Obviously. In my expert opinion, you should always start your summer playlist with "Get Around." Do it, trust me. "Good Vibrations" and "Do It Again" are my other picks.
• "Summer in the City"- the Lovin' Spoonful. Well, jeez, it's their NAME, you have to love them. Listen to these lyrics, that is some machine-gun fire rhyming. These guys are SO underrated.
• "In the Summertime"- Mungo Jerry. You know it, you love it. Although, I gotta say the line "if her daddy's rich take her out for a meal/if her daddy's poor just do what you feel" is a ripe, juicy target for a class and gender crit. Yes, I do, in fact, write imaginary papers in my head. Shut up.
• "Summertime"-Janis Joplin (with Big Brother and the Holding Company). A slower song to take it down a notch. This is hands-down the best rendition of this song ever in the history of everything. Don't try to get all cute with me listing your "street-cred" blues singers who also sang it, you're not going to win this argument.
• "Do Wah Diddy Diddy"-Manfred Mann. This song reminds me of swim team when the coach used to make us sing it in rounds like a military chant. Yes, I was on the swim team as a kid. If this is screwing up your notions of what sort of child I was, keep in mind, swimming is not actually a cooperative team sport.
• "Paint It Black"- the Rolling Stones. It's Barbara Pool approved.
• "Pleasant Valley Sunday"-the Monkees. Not necessarily a classic for the ages, but for some reason this is the song that runs in my head when I think back on sneaking into the neighbors' yards to run around in their sprinklers. And by "sneak" I mean as TOTALLY OBVIOUS as only a shrieking five-year-old in a swimsuit running around in your front yard in broad daylight can be.
• "Come On Down To My Boat" - Every Mother's Son. Another kind of silly one. Reminds me of Bahama Mama slushpuppies and pool water up my nose.
• "Time of the Season"- the Zombies. Ok, seriously, if some dude came up to me and asked me who my dad was and if he's rich or not that guy would be spitting teeth. Nonetheless, the Zombies are one underrated British Invasion band.

notable exceptions:

• "Under The Boardwalk "- The Drifters. Yeah, I get it, it's about the beach. Beach =summer. It's also about people screwing under the boardwalk. GROSS.
• "California Dreamin'"- the Mamas and the Papas. It's about WINTER.
  
  

Jesus Hell, the Sixties were awesome

the follwing contains excessive use of the word "awesome"


So, I am continually compiling a sixties playlist. It reminds me of driving around in the summer time with my mom, plus, fucking duh, the sixties were the most badass moment in music ever. This quest for the perfect, all-inclusive playlist usually starts with me downloading one specific song by an artist, then going back and looking for other titles by said artist. That always ends with me finding about six TOTAL JOY INDUCING awesome hits and exclaiming with glee, "JESUS HELL, THE SIXTIES WERE AWESOME."

Seriously, how did so many bands write so many ridiculously spectacular songs?! For bands whose songs are in every movie, commercial, etc, why are people not as obsessed with them I am?! Get with the program!!! Fuck Hendrix or the Beatles or whoever it is you're name dropping all the time.

First off, let's talk about Three Dog Night. TELL ME you don't squeal with delight when you hear "Jeremiah was a bullfrog..." being belted out of your radio. Or
"One (is the loneliest number)". That piano lick is classic! Or "Mama Told Me not to Come"? Words of wisdom if I ever heard them. Go download "Shambala" and "Never Been to Spain." If they don't ring a bell you'll know them when you hear them. Any one of these songs would've singlehandledly been a feat of rock genius, all of them together is enough awesome to last me forever.

The Turtles. "Happy Together" is probably the standout hit for my generation thanks to a way overplayed Golden Grahams commercial in the 80's, but my favorites are their slower, vaguely creepy hits like "Elenore" and "You Showed Me" which feature some pretty sweet experimental synths and rather strange harmonies. "Elenore" in particular has some of the kookiest lyrics ever like the exuberant chorus, "Gee, I think you're swell, you're my pride and joy, et cetera." Dude, anyone who can write the nerdtastic words gee, swell, and et cetera into a cool song is a musical force to be reckoned with. Not to mention the rhyming poetry of the lines "your looks intoxicate me/ even though your folks hate me" and "they'll turn the lights way down low/ maybe we won't watch the show!" LOVE IT.

Tommy James and the Shondells. These guys wrote "Crimson and Clover," which just so happens to be, in my expert opinion, one of the most awesomely arcane psychedelic songs ever. It would be totally possible for me to listen to that song on repeat forever and still love it. Not only that, they also wrote the audaciously catchy "Moni Moni" which even people raised by wolves have heard and the restrained groove "Crystal Blue Persuasion." I also adore "Sweet Cherry Wine" but my very favorite is the garage-y "Hanky Panky." But then, I love anything that sounds cute and filthy. I missed my calling as their go-go dancer.

The Four Tops. If you think you are too cool to drive around belting out your mom's Motown, you suck at life and should quit. The Four Tops pretty much wrote every awesome song that isn't by the Temps. "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)" is so catchy it makes my teeth hurt. So is the fabulous "Same Old Song" and the bitchin', motivational "I'll Be the There." I know you sing the back up parts and drum on your steering wheel, don't lie to me. Plus, they get major credit for taking on the daunting task of writing a song about a girl named Bernadette. It gets pretty philosophical too, "While I live only to hold you/ some other men they long to control you/ but how can they control you, Bernadette/ when they cannot control themselves, Bernadette/ from wanting you, needing you?" Wow, if someone wrote me a song like that, it might almost make up for my name being Bernadette.