Gettin' smarts

If you thought a hour long special about the history of cheese sounds boring you would be totally fucking wrong. I just learned all about how the balance of caseins, calcium, and acid makes mozzarella perfectly stretchy. Mmmm delicious chemistry. I mean, pizza. Wait, what the fuck was I talking about?

Thanks, Mom.

Mom: "If you did that [flunk out of school], you'd be in the nunnery! Although, you'd probably make a good nun."
Me: "Uh, really? Why on earth would you say that?"
Mom: "Well ... you're mean."

Hockaday friends.

over the phone:
Me: "We should meet up later."
Meg: "Ok, I'll give you a call when I'm done with dinner. Where are you going to be?"
Me: "Oh, I'm just going to be hanging out here in the house... writing you love letters."
Meg: "Are they going to be on nice stationery?"
Me: "Of course."
Meg: "Ok then."

one minute later:
Me: "MOM!! Where's the stationery?"
Mom: "Formal or informal?"
Me: "Uh, informal. The one with the golden retrievers on it."

two minutes later:
Dear Meg, I like you better than a large iguana, but don't tell Eric. I told him that last week, but I was just trying to get him to sleep with me. xo, Leesie.


There are about four things screwed up about all that. Try and count them all!

This about sums it up

"I really like you."
"I like you too."
"How much?"
"More than a large inguana."

25

I must be getting old. After 15 years I finally "get" Tori Amos' music.
Does that make me a grown-up now?
Ew.

Eeek! WTF!

Well, I guess I'm at least glad that the day xkcd ALMOST TOO ACCURATELY describes my life it didn't have anything to do with the velocoraptor running joke.



(But seriously, if you try to put "it's complicated" I'm going to bite you. And not in a sexy way.)

Consider desire

"Consider" derives from the Latin "to look at closely, to observe." Or, more literally, com- sidus, "with the stars."

"Desire" also traces its meaning back to the Latin word "to long for, to wish for," desiderare. Or, De- sidere: "from the stars."

*
*

lyric

*
*
*

I want your teeth to slip past my chin, to make me bleed and mark the skin.

*

Short break for a moment of girliness...

*

For me!
*squeal!*

*

nerd.

Beauty propaganda

Ok, so I'm dying my hair, and after a long hiatus from conventional, drug store dye (meaning natural colors that are trying NOT to fry your hair) I was totally amused at Natural Instincts' new product copy.

The first step of hair dying is mixing the pigment with the activator. In this case, however, the activator is labeled "gentle activating creme." That makes pretty decent sense. It is, in fact, activating, although the non-Anglo-Saxon spelling of "creme" is a bit silly. On the other hand, I am very enthusiastic about it's purported "gentleness" which is totally why I bought Herbal Essences in the first place. Because if you can't trust a brand that asserts it's wholesomeness while not actually being organic, well, who can you trust? For serious.

So I can see what the somewhat superfluous words gentle and creme are trying to get me to think: that this slimy, strong-smelling concoction is actually going to be good for my hair. Punk rock. Actually, wait. Scratch that. Punk rock would be that time I slathered my hair in magenta Special Effects, wrapped my head in a dry cleaning bag, and slept on it.

The pigment ingredient, on the other hand, is definitely pushing the boundaries of redundancy with the extraneous wordage. It is renamed "color-enhancing colorant." Now, correct me if I am wrong, but the colorant IS supposed to be COLORING my hair, right? Am I really supposed to be impressed that the colorant is doing some coloring? And what is this "enhancing" business about? I don't want my hair enhanced, I want its genetically-determined color to be permanently burned away by nature's finest chemicals as if I am some all-powerful hair color goddess exacting my sweet revenge on melanin. Or at least like the chicks in "the Craft." Come on.

Ok, so maybe if you've never dyed your hair before you might fall for this, but keep in mind that you always get a small 2oz tube of conditioner with your dye. This coloring kit it trying to convince me that I am getting "a once a week" month supply of conditioner with my box of dye. Well, guess what, Herbal Essences, I might be an art major, but I still can fucking read and this "once a week Color Treat" is still 2 fucking ounces. Nice try. And no, it's not a TREAT. It's conditioner. And for your information, I'm going to completely saturate every ammonia-licious strand of my hair with the WHOLE THING of "color conditioning treatment" like I always do. How about that!

And what is with throwing in the word color one last time? Which words are even modifying it? The conditioning treatment isn't coloring my hair, I just did that. It's not conditioning or toning the color itself either, because I happen to know it's just a treat-- I mean, just conditioner.

I think what this all means is that I'm going to have to put some Manic Panic Nightshade streaks in to cancel out the hippiness.

You can take the girl out of the goth scene, but you can't take the goth out of the girl...

"pierce right through me"

Listening to Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence" with the wrong person in a dimly lit cafe feels like I have a cactus lodged between my heart and stomach.

Stupid Monkeys

Wow, I've gotten hits from Belgium, New Zealand, and the UK by people googling for movie spoilers. Sorry, pumpkins. Just us narcissistic redheads, here.


In other news:

Dec 7, 2007

Aries- Someone may be overbearing in ways that make you uncomfortable, yet it's hard for you to confront the situation without creating additional turmoil. Nevertheless, things are not better left unsaid. Playing by the rules won't bring satisfaction. Be courageous and don't let others limit your choices. You can bend reality today if you are careful.

If that were any more relevant to my life I think I might vomit. Well played, AIM horoscope. This round goes to you.
It is so on. I am bitching everyone out today.

la Fee Verte

Jared Gurfein, who founded Viridian, agreed. “There’s no question they’re watching us,” he said. “I’m just not sure what they’re watching for. I hope it’s not for somebody to cut their ear off.”

There are two things you should know about absinthe. One, it's not a controlled substance like, say, cocaine. Wormwood, the purported hallucinogen is banned by the FDA. You will not be jailed, fined, or harassed for possessing or consuming it, it will simply be taken away from you if you are bringing it into the country. Trust me, I've had it happen. Secondly, the "legal" absinthes the NYT article mentions squeak by the wormwood ban because the herb is not present in the final distillation, therefore there are only minute traces of it in the bottled product. This technicality also makes the absinthe technically not absinthe.

*

So, what is "authentic" absinthe? I am not the absinthe police. I have tasted probably over a hundred brands of absinthe (which is about 97+ more than most people writing about it in the NYT or elsewhere) and a good deal of them were either patently inauthentic or what could be more favorably termed "novelty."

If, however, you want an absinthe that is most like what Van Gogh was drinking prior to the aforementioned ear incident this is what to look for:

• The absinthe must be from France or Switzerland. This not to say that there are not delicious absinthes from other countries, but French and Swiss brands tend to work from Belle Epoque recipes and maintain more handcrafted practices. France/Switzerland is just where absinthe is FROM. Duh.
• The traditional alcohol content of absinthe is anywhere from 50 to 68 proof, leaning towards the upper end of that range. You will find absinthes that are much, much higher but you will mostly taste alcohol.
• All traditional absinthes contain grand wormwood and anise. If you don't like the taste of licorice, you are shit out of luck.
• A "real" absinthe will louche when you add water and sugar. The alcohol keeps the herbs suspended in the solution until you add water, then the drink will cloud. It's a popular metaphor in literature and art for the absinthe experience.
• Absinthe is not dyed green. If it looks like mouthwash, it's probably going to taste more like mouthwash than absinthe.

The best kept secret about absinthe is not these "legal" American varieties, but the Swiss blanches and la bleues. As the names imply, these absinthes are clear and will louche milky white and blueish opal, respectively. Despite not being the requisite emerald, almost all distilleries making clear absinthe are using very old recipes with an artisanal attention to the craft. Blanche and bleue absinthes have a slightly crisper, more floral taste and happen to be my very favorite.

Some absinthes that are widely regarded as being the "best" and that I can also personally recommend are:

• La Valote Willy Bovet. A Swiss la bleue from the Val-de-Travers, a distilling community in the alps that share the same alembics, but use their own recipes. All Valotes are excellent, but this is my favorite. Great looking label too.
• Un Emile. A very traditional verte from Pontelier, the "birthplace" of absinthe. A very herbal blend with a slightly thick mouthfeel.
• Francois Guy. A French verte and the perennial winner of the Golden Absinthe Spoon (yes, there is an annual Absinthe competition.) The herbs tends toward to woody and bitter. It is not my favorite-favorite, but very well-esteemed by connoisseurs.
• Libertine. Frequently places in the Absinthiades. Tangy, sweet, and bitter all at once, is very fine even without sugar.
• Verisinthe. Another good, layered flavor. Sweet and rich.

In addition, there are some pretty cool variations that, despite being a touch anachronistic, are pretty good:

• Tunel Black. It's 80 proof and will knock you on your ass, but what could possibly be more gothic than BLACK ABSINTHE?! It has a slight indigo louche and you can taste the cassis and berries used to achieve the black color when you dilute it with water.
• Mata Hari. The Austrians don't like anise, so if you don't either this is a nice alternative. Herbal with a slightly minty note. The gorgeous Mucha label is totally worth the purchase. Does not louche.
• Neuzeller. This 400 year old German distillery produces a series of Absinthes steeped with flowers to give then a unique, dye-free color and taste. I have the rose and it's a bit bitter, but you can definitely taste the flower. Comes in a to-die-for apothecary bottle.
• Salvia. Not an absinthe, but a liqueur made from sage. Interestingly, sages contains much more of the purported hallucinogen, thujone, than wormwood. Sage, however, is quite legal. Oh, FDA, you sillies! Very, very unique drink and highly recommended. It has a light, woody flavor.
  

  

A few other rules of thumb: do not drink Czech absinthe. I can't think of any brands that are authentic or don't taste like Scope. Speaking of Czechs, the "Czech ritual" is decidedly not period, but lighting shit on fire is always awesome. I would never, ever discourage someone from igniting something then ingesting it. So keep your lighters handy. Also, do not mix absinthe and cannabis vodka. Not only is cannabis vodka the most disgusting bile you will ever consume, I'm pretty sure the only thing steeping marijuana seeds in alcohol does is make the booze taste like it was brewed in Satan's spleen, ie, it will not get you stoned. Although, admittedly, that is not my area of expertise. Anyway, during a very scientific field study I determined that combining these two spirits will cause you to WEEP UNCONTROLLABLY for over an hour after you drunkenly trip and break the strap on your sandal. You know, FYI.

"I am Legend" Spoilers and Tormenting Walt.

scarletfvr29 (2:56:42 PM): are they supposed to kill Will Smith in the end? if it has a happy ending i'm going to be pissed
TrikWally (2:56:59 PM): i'd be surprised if they kill him
TrikWally (2:57:05 PM): isn't it PG-13?
scarletfvr29 (2:57:20 PM): but that's how the book ends
scarletfvr29 (2:57:34 PM): i mean, that's that whole fucking point of the TITLE
TrikWally (2:57:49 PM): soooooo haven't read the book yet
TrikWally (2:57:51 PM): but thanks!
scarletfvr29 (2:58:08 PM): oopsie
scarletfvr29 (2:58:25 PM): in that case
scarletfvr29 (2:58:30 PM): his dog...
TrikWally (2:58:31 PM): oh shut up

Scribbles.

F/W "Victorient" concept sketches.
Senior croquis book, 2006-2007.
prismacolor markers and pencils, guache, pen.



silk charmuese ruffled blouse, cotton twill cargo pantalets.
silk velvet tailored blazer. silk tulle and net skirt.



[woven and knit sketches with historical research.]



cotton sateen boned corset, ribbed cotton jersey wife beater, cotton voile bloomers with satin ties at thigh.
silk satin and black denim boned corset, washed silk charmuse ruffled bloomers. nylon tights and armwarmers.

Very well-dressed.

I don't know what the question is, but the answer is yes.
Gold stars all around, Johnny Depp.

Let's vent. Wheee!

Last night it was raining even though it was well below freezing which is just too perfect for the scene. Of fucking course I would’t even be able to appreciate the grace of some falling snow (SP reference!). Nope, just unequivocally dreary rain with exponentially miserable cold. Which is just so indicative of this little melodrama. I can’t even derive some perverse validation from it. Not even some sick, fleeting glimmer of “Ha ha, I win, I told you so.”

I am not dark and twisty. Ever. I am not fraught with regret, resentment, or disappointment. I have never wanted a do-over in my entire life. So a whole chit chat about missed opportunities, guilty conscience, and star-crossed love is not is my repertoire. But now, even though I was, am, and will be over it, here I am ranting about it anyway.

Obviously, the timing on this is completed fucked regardless, but really. Right now? This month? This week? This weekend? I’m busy. My internal monologue humming like like an aurora. I’ve got other stuff going on. The lightning bolt, the arrow, that voice, you know? THAT. I’m fucking busy. A big blinking sign flashing “the rest of your life, this way!” is right over there and it’s either going to Candyland or a grim, Brothers Grimm, ill-lit, darkly wooded area. Being moronically blissed makes a girl suspicious. I do, after all, have a history of leaping before i look. So, yeah. KIND OF OCCUPIED.

And now I know why that stupid Queen of Cups bothers be so much. Because I HAVE been like that and it’s fucking hard work. Being like that is a thankless job and so far all it does is make people more comfortable, more lazy, and take you for granted the more you do it. And then after, of course, without fail, they come back. But I am not a patient Griselda. I don’t want the last laugh.

Anyway, now it’s time for some of this:

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Queen of Hearts

Devotees of the tarocchi,

The other day I appeared not once, but twice, as the Queen of Cups (in a conventional playing deck, and more tellingly, the Queen of Hearts) as the first card in a Celtic Cross spread with two different decks.

I, of course, am always the Queen of Rods. Redheaded, fire-signed, sunny, capricious, creative, ebullient, exuberant, sharp-tongued, loyal, opinionated, passionate, impatient, ambitious, confident, and suchlike. Sounds about right, no? The Queen of Cups: sentimental, nurturing, romantic, empathetic, intuitive, loving, affectionate, shy. My first reaction was, "That isn't me!" but, then, the damn question was about me.

What does it mean to be described as something else entirely to a querent? Certainly not that I am NOT the Rods type, I think. That I am the queen of cups right now? To that person? What is it to be something you do not identify yourself to be FOR/TO someone else anyway? To me that sounds disingenuous at best and terrifying at worst. But I suppose the more sentimental among us consider that to be romance. And who is active agent is that perception? Am I the one being different, or is the subject that is seeing me differently than I see myself?

I imagine in a spread for another person, the latter is most likely the case. Which is not to say that a person's first impression is wrong. Just, judging from my incredulity, not the primary or my preferred iteration of my personality. So what is that about? Am I completely mental to have some kind of ranking for qualities which I feel are more important or most salient? And how is it that I ended up preferring to be described as impetuous before comforting?

Hmm. Mysteries of the universe. :P

More fun with my parents

So in my typically indiscreet fashion, I told my mom about cherry onion firefly after quoting her extensively. Of course, in my mom's typical mom fashion, her first comment was that my writing style has not athrophied and reamins engaging. Her second response was to tell me she didn't read everything because she wasn't sure if it was private or not which is completely hilarious not only because that probably is not true, but also because I am the least secretive person on the planet (ex: "I am retarded for you." "Haha. You're retarded?" "No! *I'm* not retarded...I...er..." FUCK.). Then my mom told me that my dad was kind of disappointed that I hadn't written anything about him yet which is so adorable it makes my teeth hurt.

My dad is very easy going and very Texan. He knows everything about geography, history, and politics. I get my uncanny sense of direction from him. All my guy friends drive up to Dallas to tailgate with Daddy even if I'm not anywhere near Dallas because he's that awesome.

The problem is that Daddy stories usually work better being told than transcribed because my dad tends to make up words or twang them randomly. In case you're a yankee, a twang is a Texas accent, it isn't called a "drawl." Every once in a while my dad will use really obscure words for perfectly normal things too, like calling something "persimmon" instead of orange-colored. I'm not even sure my dad's ever even eaten a persimmon, but there you go.


So I will make a concerted effort to incude more Daddy stories as they transpire.

Rotten.

My mom told me over Thanksgiving that she was worried because I had no Yule presents.
I bought six pairs of shoes online and shipped them to the house.
I am spoiled.

Rapunzel

My beautiful bunny Rapunzel

!

My Mom rocks....kinda

Mom: Oh, I love this song! [sings and bobs back and forth] I want to rock and roll all night. And party every day!
Me: Really, Mom? Do you?
Mom: Mmm-hmm.
Me: Party every day?
Mom: Well, I could read a book all day.
Me: .... I'm not sure that's the same thing.

Oh, hells no...

Dude, I just left decent weather in New York, and it's SNOWING in Dallas. DALLAS. Dallas, TEXAS! Frozen dihydrogen monoxide is falling from the sky. Solid water is precipitating from the atmosphere. Al Gore, you can take your global warming and go fuck yourself with a chainsaw...SIDEWAYS.

Secret.

scarletfvr29 (1:30:26 PM): stop looking at my blaaag in front of your family
scarletfvr29 (1:30:30 PM): it's private
scarletfvr29 (1:30:35 PM): that's why its on the internet
scarletfvr29 (1:30:39 PM): for everyone to see

Medicine

No. Shit.

*

*

(that cracked out eyeball really is on my bottle of cough supressant. wtf.)

Daily Tarot

The Lovers

The Lovers represent a powerful union and the harmony of opposites. It represents the combining of two elements to create an even greater entity. This card often represents the formation of a new relationship or the strengthening of a current one. Love can come your way at anytime.

*

*

*

I know, I know. Thanks, captain obvious.

*

Your accuracy is improving, Facebook Tarot; your helpfulness, not so much.

Email from Barby

From: Barbara Pool
Sent:Mon 11/19/07 11:11 PM
To: Leesie (valkyrie@alumni.rice.edu)

Little B2Shoes,
send me the stuff I need to get for your dips so I can get them hopefully tomorrow or wednesday.
LA(ww)M


Emails from my mom are always a bit perplexing. Despite the fact that she is an erudite librarian who has been proofing my papers for two decades, she prefers to type emails in a telegram style frequently leaving out punctuation and pronouns. She happens to be asking me for a salsa recipe, but as you can see, she eschews the ethnic Spanish for "dip."

What I'd like to point out, however, is the salutation and closing. If you're confused that the email is addressed to "Little B2shoes," knowing that stands for Little Bouef-y Two Shoes probably doesn't help either. I, in fact, have no idea what this means, but she's been calling me this ever since I can remember. I guess it's a conflation of "goody two shoes" and the French word for cow, which may or may not be a term of endearment in France. Who knows. The B can alternately stand for "bitchy two shoes" which is used with almost the same frequency.

LA(ww)M stands for "love always, without wax, Mommy." This is also weird, but easier to explain. The word "sincerely" derives from the Latin "without wax" which refers to the practice of patching up botched marble sculptures with wax. If a sculptor fucked up someones nose, he would fill in the mistake, but a master's sculpture, in contrast, would be free of revisions or wax, thusly a "sincere" work. Anyway, I learned that in fourth grade and my mom has been signing notes like that ever since. I imagine that she was hoping I'd follow in her footsteps and take Latin and watch "I, Claudius" marathons with her, but much to her disappointment I studied Greek and our Classical impasse sustains itself to this day.

Lastly, I'd like to point out something that I think sums up my mother's character pretty succinctly. My mom spells her name "Barby," but half of her college friends mistakenly spell it "Barbie." Every Christmas there is a crisis because my mom tries to remember who spells it which way when she's signing her Christmas cards because she feels it would be rude to correct that person and feels obligated to sign "Barbie" lest they feel embarrassed. 40 years later. No, really.

Tormenting Walt!

Walt suggested I NOT make "Tormenting Walt" a weekly item, but respecting that wish would not really be in the spirit of "Tormenting Walt," now would it? So, in honor of Walt being far, far away here is this:

scarletfvr29 (3:26:34 PM): so when are you going to berlin and prague?
TrikWally (3:26:48 PM): tonight.
scarletfvr29 (3:26:59 PM): ah
scarletfvr29 (3:27:05 PM): bon voyage
TrikWally (3:27:17 PM): uh...thanks
scarletfvr29 (3:27:35 PM): well, that sounds more elegant
scarletfvr29 (3:27:46 PM): than, 'don't crash over the ocean
scarletfvr29 (3:27:51 PM): so i won't have to pretend to be sad'
TrikWally (3:28:12 PM): your attempts at faking emotion move me. thanks

Um, you're still bringing me back absinthe, right?
xo,
L

I draw things.

They look like this.
(title page for senior croquis book)
charcoal on craft paper
11" x 14"
Spring 2007

Quotes of the Week

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I spend way too much time online

More Facebook Graffiti

Grrrr

Fuck, I'm such a blabbermouth
I think I jinxed it
I think I jinxed it
I think I jinxed it
Goddammit.

*update*: false alarm. We're good.

velocet

**
when my pulse blooms in my throat
*********as gravity fights for me

it feels the same as this.
*

Ten Things NOT to Tell Someone You Just Met

But sometimes manage to come up anyway. Which is probably more reason for concern than the topics themselves

1. Anything involving Old English, Middle English or the recitation of texts in either language.

2. The sentence "I am in a circus."

3. The word "exsanguinate."

4. My first high school "boyfriend" impregnated a midget.

5. I have an oral fixation.

6. And no gag reflex.

7. I received a Colt semi automatic for my 18th birthday.

8. I worked at Rick's Cabaret for three months.

9. My rock show go-go dancing debut was at a Lords of Acid show at a slightly underage 17 years old. The encore was "Spank My Booty." Guess what happened.

10. I participated in the barrel racing event at the rodeo.

Actually,

The Stars Wars theme blasting from the dvd player is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear first thing Sunday morning.

No, I'm not even being sarcastic.

Feeling a bit better

Apparently one or all of these things contributed to my relative improvement:

• Having my ex-boyfriend hold my nose and pour twice the recommended dose of Robitussin (from a shot glass) down my throat followed by two Alleve.
  
• Spending the following day fucked the fuck up off of Robitussin raspily berating anyone who would engage me in conversation.
  
• Coming home that afternoon and sleeping for an almost uninterrupted 12 hours.
  

Tormenting Walt!

Well, first there was this:
scarletfvr29 (3:22:12 PM): i think i should have a weekly
item on my blaaaaag called "tormenting walt" and it will
just be shit i cut and pasted from our aim conversations.
Auto Response from TrikWally (3:22:12 PM): Away from my desk.
Editing.
scarletfvr29 (3:41:19 PM): i'm going to take your non-reply
to mean whole hearted agreement
scarletfvr29 (3:41:22 PM): cheerio!

so here is this:
scarletfvr29 (2:47:49 PM): if this evening doesn't end with
you getting a 'birthday spanking' from some burly bear man i'm
going to be very disappointed. from both the lack of SF failing
to live up to my expectation of being all gay all the time and
also due to the fact that I can only enjoy other people's
happiness when it ends in their misery and humiliation
TrikWally (2:48:20 PM): ....
TrikWally (2:48:23 PM): i'm glad we're friends
TrikWally (2:48:26 PM): i ever tell you that?
TrikWally (2:48:34 PM): ....

Happy Birthday!
xo,
L

Being sick makes you soooo pretty. Let me explain it to you.

So, as stated previously, if you would like to lose...say... 6+ pounds in less than 36 hours drink cough syrup. Its cloying noxiousness will deactivate your tongue and coat your stomach in a delightful slime. Not only will you not feel like eating anything, but if you try it will taste completely terrible.

Second awesome benefit: coughing incessantly is the equivalent of doing eleventy jillion crunches in a day. I counted. In a scientific manner.

Because I was a design student I know all about sleep deprivation in all its torturous degrees. While it is true that habitual sleep deprivation will slow down your metabolism, I have discovered that a 2-3 day bender every once in a while will actually cause you to lose weight. Why waste half your day sleeping, when you could be awake burning twice as many calories! Awake hacking your lungs out! Diesel!

Getting back to the not eating, since all you will be consuming is tea and gallons of water to get that fucking Robitussin taste out of your mouth, now is a great time for detoxing. All that water-weight you've been waddling around with will fly off as you cleanse your body with yummy green tea antioxidants. Nevermind that at the same time a putrid infection is festering in your sinus cavity and creeping toward your lungs. Liquid diet! Whee!


But Leesie, how are you going to look pretty with those bags under your eyes!
Try to sleep with your head elevated and lay on your back. Don't worry if you usually sleep on your side or stomach. As your will to live seeps out your nose, so will your desire to roll over.
Also, dab white, shimmery shadow on the inside corners of your eyes and curl your lashes. It will make you look more awake. If you think that sounds like bullshit, you obviously have never wielded a lash curler.

Ok, but blowing your nose every 45 seconds has got to make your nose red.
True, all that abrading is bad for sensitive skin. Use a moisturizer that is made for calming irritated skin like eucerin, aveeno, or just plain neosporin. Put concealer on the corners of your nostrils. This is a good trick in general because it makes your nose look narrower.

Dude, but you're so pale!
I'm not pale, I'm fair. It's aristocratic.

Ok, but seriously, how is being unhealthy going to make you pretty? Isn't that the opposite of pretty?
Beauty is suffering. I learned it in school. I have a degree in this shit.

Ow, sinus pressure

I'm on this awesome diet called "Robitussin makes me wretch and its lingering putridity makes everything taste vomitious." So rad.

I think I need to hibernate....

Daily Tarot

The Moon

The Moon represents those unknown forces and cycles that are out of your control. While aware of its presence, you are unable to comprehend the influence the Moon has on your life. While this is a time full of mystery and uncertainty, it is also a time of great imagination and creativity. You must be prepared to venture into the unknown and follow uncharted paths.

Listen, you.
I am sick of this passive aggressive "advice" you're giving me. You need to stop exacerbating this encroaching sense of juggling I'm feeling. And don't even think about dealing me the Tower tomorrow. For serious.

Art degree at work.

Daily Tarot

I was composing an incisive psychoanalysis detailing the epiphany I had on the R train concerning my Ashley Wilkes/Rhett Butler syndrome, but I think THIS just about says it all:

The Devil

The Devil represents wild behaviour and reckless abandon. This is a card synonymous with temptation and addiction. At its worst, this card embodies evil, but at its best represents ambition, impulsiveness and pure devotion. You should be acutely aware of the destructive influences in your life and gather the strength to overcome them.




Oh, universe. How my foibles must amuse you.

Sun Signs

Aries
Taurus
Virgo
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Aquarius
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Libra
Capricorn
Pisces

Wheeeeeee

Indian boys have pretty hair.

Feliz Dia de los Muertos.

Pelvic bones. I has them.

Thank you note.

This is a drawing I sent to Dr. Darryl, our vet after he operated on Rapunzel. I scribbled it in about 45 seconds, but the staff was charmingly flattered noentheless.
Thanks Dr. Darryl! Maybe you can operate on mommy next time she needs it.

Organs!

I have to say, before I saw them in plush form, I never wondered what my favorite organ was.

Being asthmatic I have a strained relationship with lungs, I've never really given my liver or kidneys a real workout, the heart is cliche, brains are obvious... which organ is glamorous? None, I guess? I'm tempted to go for the spleen just because it has some currency as a non-anatomical word.

I think too hard about these things.

http://iheartguts.com/shop/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1&sort=20a&page=3

Halloweeeeeeeeen!!!!

Went to the Devils game at the new arena which is pretty swanky...esp for New Jersey. Thank effing god they finally got their act together and won one. And a big win! 6-1 with three fights. Can't ask for much better than that!
Finally got back to Mehanata at midnight for some samba and live drumming. Diego met a swashbucking doppleganger and I outdanced the chick dressed like a bellydancer. Those lasers in the basement are fierce!

cool stuff

http://kostasvoyatzis.wordpress.com/2007/10/30/robert-stadler-lighting-installation-in-a-parisian-church/

Oh God, So Cute!

Oh my sweet Jesus. So goddamn adorable. Cute, cute, cute. Ow, it hurts.

*Dies.*

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7575197

foods!

Just to get in as much pumpkin as possible before Halloween I made pumpkin lasagna (awesome) and pumpkin bread pudding with Southern Comfort sauce (super awesome).

Daily Tarot

The Hanged Man:
This card denotes the need to look at your current situation from a different perspective. The Hanged Man creates change by acting passively and accepting fate. By surrendering control and making yourself vulnerable, you will facilitate change in your life. In order to see the bigger picture, you will need to take a step back.

Fuck. That.

Since I'm still irritated about it....

Dear junkie fuckface,

You are a fucking moron.
I mean, as if I already couldn’t tell that you were fucked in the head, a jerk, and a drug addict, you took it upon yourself to combine all three. Blow me off, ok, you’re a dick, but I give you credit for being a cute enough dick that it made me mad. Blow me off to get fucked up?
Seriously?

Love,

L